


Nowhere

by Thehairshirt



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: AU, Anal Sex, Angry Sex, Half-Sibling Incest, M/M, Minor Violence, Oral Sex, Post-Apocalyptic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-03
Updated: 2014-08-19
Packaged: 2018-02-07 07:30:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 24,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1890306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thehairshirt/pseuds/Thehairshirt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post-apocalyptic AU for Jon/Robb week!<br/>They're all that's left for each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [the_blonde_mermaid](https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_blonde_mermaid/gifts).



“I’d kill for a shave.” Robb whispered, longingly staring at the men’s razors, neatly stacked on the shelf. He pocketed a few packets of blades, just in case.

“Me too.” Jon said, walking around the corner kicking up dust on the linoleum. “You know we can’t though.”

“Yeah.” Robb sighed, scratching at his beard. “If anyone saw us we’d be dead in a heartbeat. You look nice clean-shaven though.”

Jon stuck his tongue out at him, and pulled his backpack off his shoulders. “I’ve got some cans of beans… tomatoes… I can’t believe this stuff is still here. Find anything useful?”

“Not much. There were some bandaids left though. Oh! I forgot…” Robb pawed through his own bag that lay at his feet and retrieved a couple of toothbrushes, their packages dusty, but still sealed. “These babies are the real prize, I got toothpaste as well.”

Jon laughed and took one of the toothbrushes, stuffing it in his bag. “Bottled water?”

Robb shrugged “Nothing left, I got some more coffee though. Cigarettes. Dog food too. Let’s go.”

They left through the small front doors that chimed. The supermarket seemed like a family-owned and run business, and didn’t have the polish or stark emptiness that the pair had found when looting larger stores.

Jon shivered in the wind and pulled his hood over his head. He missed his leather jacket, but had left it back at their shelter so that he could move more quietly if need be. Robb untied their dogs, great mutts of white and grey, who had been tethered on a lamppost outside the store. Robb let the dogs loose from their leashes, and the pair bounded forward, noses to the ground. Jon had started up the great slope of dead grass behind the store, but turned back and made a pained face at Robb. He quickly paced back, and grabbed Robb’s backpack.

“Do you need me to take this?” He asked softly, looking around over Robb’s shoulder down the great stretch of highway. There was nothing but emptiness.

“No, I’m fine.” Robb said curtly as he pulled free of Jon’s grasp.

“If your leg’s still troubling you I-“

“No, I can rest when we get back. Let’s go.”

Jon walked by Robb’s side up the slope. Robb’s eyes stayed fixed to the ground, carefully treading his boots around broken logs and dead leaves, being mindful of any potential traps or places where he might lose his foothold and slip. He could not afford to let his leg get hurt again; it would likely cost him his life, and Jon’s.

It was near dark when they got back to the house where they had set up their camp. It was a bleak, old house. Robb guessed it was at least a hundred years old. Jon thought anything felt old these days. Like the surrounding countryside, the house was a dull grey, blanketed by ash from great fires. The ash had swept along, choking plants and covering everything in it’s wake. The pair whistled for the dogs, which had been lapping greedily at the trough that lay to the side of the house. The men entered the house through the great doors that went into the basement. Robb sighed and dropped his bag to the floor, breathing in the familiar musty scent of their home. He laughed, and sat down on the floor cross-legged, his head starting to spin a little.

“You’re exerting yourself too much, you need to rest.” Jon whispered, helping Robb out of his jacket after throwing his own backpack down. “Next run I’ll go alone. With the dogs. I’ll be fine.”

“No.” Robb said, with a volume that made Jon jump in surprise.

“Ok.” 

They sat in silence for a number of minutes, Robb laying resting his head on Jon’s bundled up jacket, shivering under his own. Jon put away their loot, but kept a steady eye on Robb the whole time. Finally Robb broke the silence.

“Want to have some of that rice we have left?” He asked, swallowing dryly. “It’s still ok, right?”

“Yeah, should be.” Jon said as he put a can on the shelf. “We should really make use of the gas and water here, while it’s still going.”

The electricity had gone, many months ago when it had all started. Gas and water was hard to come by. Jon often wondered why the people who used to live here had left, because leaving something so precious as gas behind seemed a folly. Perhaps they set out west like a lot of people had, hoping that the cost would bring them fortune. Maybe they were taken.

Robb wobbled to his feet, pulling up the leg of his jeans to examine the wound on his leg. He could not tell anymore if it was healing.

They walked up the creaking wooden stairs and into the hallway of the house. There was a thin film of dust on everything, no matter how much they tried to keep things clean. It was already near-dark, so Jon held his lighter in front of him to guide them through the halls to where they had stacked candles. 

Jon breathed a sigh of relief as he turned on the stove, and it lit up with a small whoosh. He searched for a pot which he emptied their remaining rice into, and poured water straight from the tap into it.

Once they were sat at the table, candle between them, Robb spoke again.

“I still think about him.” He said, pushing the rice around on his plate.

“Yeah… me too. A lot.” Jon whispered. 

That night Jon could not sleep. He lay next to Robb, huddled together under their blanket for warmth. It was not unusual for him to not be able to sleep, but since their companion Theon had been taken from them, Jon felt as though his brain never shut off. 

How long ago was it?

Jon struggled to remember, surviving day-to-day meant that his time was mostly spent looking for food, shelter, trying to stay out of sight and keeping Robb safe. The three of them had travelled together for a long time, a long way too. Jon felt a strange sensation in his stomach when he realised he had no idea where he was anymore. They had wandered, mostly avoiding cities and sticking to the countryside where there were far fewer people and the drifters like them were much easier to spot. 

That night he dreamed of the last time he saw Theon.

\---

“Keep your voices down.” Theon hissed, ducking behind a wood pile, pulling his hunting knife out. Robb followed suit, moving as fast as he could while he crouched low to the ground, he stopped beside Theon. Jon was on the roof of the small wood cabin, wearing a brown coat he had found earlier for some vague sense of camouflage. He lay flat on the roof, watching the group of men wandering down the side of the dusty highway towards them. The cabin itself was relatively isolated, but also surrounded by trees. Jon’s eyes scanned the landscape for possible routes to make their escape, should the men stop by the cabin to search it. Since witnessing the horrors of the city, the group had come to the choice to stay as far away from other people unless absolutely necessary. Jon had soon learned to determine who were the people to avoid, and his stomach twisted in knots when he saw the grim faces of the men walking together. He could not see the exact number through the trees, but he suspected that there were ten or more, all men, all armed with hunting rifles. His heart leapt into his throat as he realised the men were heading to the cabin, and not merely past it. He crawled along his belly to the edge of the roof. The wood pile was high enough that he could drop down without hurting himself. He quickly descended, and landed with a soft thud in the leaves between Robb and Theon. He felt Robb’s hand meet his for a moment, and they locked their fingers together.

“I’m going to take a piss, you two look inside.” A man said.

“There’s only three of them.” Theon whispered peering around the corner of the wood pile. There was a small laugh in his statement.

“There’s more.” Jon replied quietly, as they watched the man move further away from them to relieve himself. “They must have stayed by the road.”

Jon’s heart pounded so hard his body was twitching with every beat. He could hear the other two men in the cabin, swearing at one another and turning the place inside out for anything useful. The man urinating called out to them, and the men’s footsteps faded away.

“Oh my god…” Robb sighed softly to himself. 

“I should have slit his throat and taken his gun.” Theon said.

“Yes and they would have all been on us.” Jon hissed back. “No guns, they attract too much attention. We don’t kill anyone unless we absolutely have to. Have you forgotten that?”

Theon shrugged and sheathed his knife. 

“Let’s just get back to the camp.” Robb said. “We’ll talk about it then.”

They waited, listening for signs of the men returning, but after a few minutes Theon waved his hand back to the woods, in the direction of their makeshift camp. Jon wished he had been able to search the cabin for supplies, but surely now it was devoid of anything useful. They made the hour-long trek back to their camp, through the wasteland of what Jon supposed must have been a beautiful forest. The sun was beginning to sink over the mountains in the horizon, and a chill was picking up in the air. 

Robb started the campfire, and had a pot of boiling water bubbling away. Theon trudged away with a bucket in hand to fetch water. They had found a creek nearby which was clean enough to drink from the previous day, and they intended to follow the stream as long as possible. Jon sat next to Robb, and put his arm around him, rubbing his shoulder.

“You’re still really nervous.” Jon noted. 

“Yeah.” Robb said, poking at the fire with a stick. “Maybe… maybe Theon’s right. Maybe we should get guns – if we can.”

Jon sighed, dismayed. “I don’t want to kill anyone.”

“We don’t have to, but it could save us. What if one of those guys had heard or seen us?”

“We need to rely on our wits and not let anyone get that close again.” Jon said, kicking aside dead leaves with heavy boots. 

The pair both stood up suddenly as they heard a strangled voice crying out in the distance. Jon clumsily fumbled for his knife.

“Was that-“?

“I… don’t know.”

Robb pulled on his backpack, and handed Jon his own. Jon kicked soil onto the fire to smother it, and watched, puzzled, as Robb took up the pot of boiling water in his hands, using his sleeves to protect them from the heat.

“Let’s go.” Robb said, following the familiar trail made by their footprints towards the creek, treading carefully. Jon for a moment forgot how to breathe, he felt as though the air were sucked from his lungs as he heard the voices of men talking.

“Fuck you!” Spat a familiar voice. Theon.

“We know you’re not alone asshole. Where?”

“It’s just me.”

Jon peered between the trees, and saw Theon in the light of dusk, proudly standing in a circle of men, the ones they had seen merely an hour ago. The men had kept their weapons holstered, but Theon apparently had taken quite the beating, one side of his face visible and his lip oozing blood. He still wore his usual cocky smile. 

Jon heard the crack of a twig to his left, the side where Robb was crouching. He nearly leapt out of his skin as he saw a man standing there, dark eyes coldly watching them. Robb was the first to act, swinging the heavy pot full of nearly-boiling water, dousing the man in it and sending the pot flying over his shoulder to land heavily in the dead earth behind him. The man let out a scream that Jon would never forget, clutching at his scalded face. The men surrounding Theon began to cry out, starting up the hill towards Jon and Robb.

“Go!” Theon yelled out, voice distorted from his swollen face. 

Jon was already on his feet and running before his brain could register what was happening. He heard ragged breaths behind him, and the sound of boots. He hoped it was Robb, and that Theon was not far behind, but fear and adrenaline had possessed him, and he did not look back. 

\---

Jon sat upright, panting, his body clammy with sweat and trembling. Robb’s hand gently rubbed his back to comfort him.

“You’re dreaming about him again, aren’t you?”

“Yeah.” Jon said, settling back into the sleeping bag. Although there were bedrooms in the house, Jon felt more comfortable sleeping in the basement. It had several ways out, and Jon knew he must always be prepared to leave at any moment. He did not want to be trapped upstairs merely because he wanted a small comfort. 

“Here.” Robb said, arms outstretched, inviting Jon into them for a firm hug and a peck on the cheek. 

“Normally I wake up when we stop running.” Jon said, burying his head against Robb’s chest. “I look down and see your wounded leg, realise Theon is gone…”  
Robbs arms cradled Jon as the rest of the words escaped him, and they lay together for several minutes, Jon’s stomach twisting in knots of guilt and regret.


	2. Chapter 2

Jon awoke to the sound of the dogs baying outside. Quickly pulling his shirt on, he rose clumsily to his feet. Robb was not there. He grasped along the cold concrete floor and searched for the knife that always lay next to him as he slept. It was still there.

“Robb?” He called softly, creeping low and barefoot towards the great timber doors that lead out to the backyard of the place. He pushed to heavy door open just a crack, his fingers shaking under the weight. The dogs were growling, flashing their teeth at one another and nipping at each other’s throats. Jon sighed with relief. No one there. Jon heard the sound of flesh on concrete as Robb paced quietly from the wooden stairs down into the basement.

“Hey, I was just in the kitchen.”

Jon’s body visibly deflated with relief. “The dogs were making enough noise to wake me up and you weren’t there.”

“Come on.” Robb said, stretching out one arm to aid Jon up to his feet. “The gas stopped working.”

Jon groaned “How did I know today wasn’t going to be a good day?”

“Look, it’s probably time we moved on anyway, we’re running out of food.” Robb said softly. 

“Will you be able to travel?”

“I’ll have to.”

Jon furrowed his brows, his eyes glancing down to Robb’s leg. His jeans were stained a ruddy brown colour from his seeping wound. “Can I see?”

Robb self-consciously stepped his wounded leg behind the other one, as if hiding the glaringly obvious stain would somehow make Jon less concerned about it. He rolled up the pant leg with a sigh, wincing as the fabric peeled from the wound. 

“Oh no.” Jon whispered, almost just to himself. “I think it’s getting worse.”

“I’m still fine to move, Jon.” Robb snapped. “Look we need more bandages, and I bet if we could find some anti-inflammatory medication or antibiotics I would be ok, it’s just a little infected.”

“What time is it?”

“Around noon, I guess.” Robb shrugged. “Should we get moving today?”

“I think so. I do not like how quiet it’s been here; I think staying would be pushing our luck. Can you feed the dogs and make sure they get enough water? I’ll fill up our canteens and get our things together.” Jon paced quickly over to the shelves, retrieving the cans they had found on their last supply run, stuffing them into his backpack. They both worked swiftly, and in an hour’s time they stood at the great basement doors, ready to set off. 

A great wind was sweeping down at their backs as they set off, following the highway but sticking to the burnt-out trees to remain hidden. Jon struggled under the weight of his backpack, but he couldn’t bear the thought of unburdening himself slightly and giving the weight to Robb. The air was so thick of dust and ash that they had to wear bandannas over their faces. Robb laughed at Jon and said he looked like he was in some sort of bad biker costume, with his leather jacket over his grey hooded sweater, his face mostly obscured by the bandanna. Jon thought Robb looked handsome even with just his eyes showing under his mop of auburn hair, but he said nothing.

The dogs bounded forward ahead of them, searching the scorched earth for scents to chase, but they found none. Robb started to grow tired as the sun slowly began to descend into the sky, and despite his pride he allowed himself to rest softly against Jon as they walked. 

“I wonder where we are.” Robb said, as Jon took his hand and aided him over a long broken piece of charcoal that might have once been a great redwood. 

“I was thinking about that last night.” Jon said. “I don’t even remember how long it’s been. Since Theon, since it started, whenever.”

“Yeah, neither can I.” Robb admitted, his voice muffled by the cloth over his mouth. The wind was still howling through the dead trees, and the atmosphere still thick.

“We could make camp.” Jon suggested with a sigh “But I don’t think we’ll be able to keep a fire going in this wind, or sleep. Can you keep going?”

“Yeah. Might as well. We won’t sleep, the air is too dirty. We need to find some shelter or wait until the weather dies down. The dogs are restless too.”

The pair trudged on, and Jon noticed that the landscape had started to change slightly. Everything was still caked with filth, but he could have sworn he felt the grass growing softer beneath his boots. The terrain was slightly more hilly, and Jon’s stomach churned with worry every time he saw Robb’s leg fumble under the weight of his backpack. 

“Look!” Robb said, louder than he probably meant to. He pointed out, and it took Jon a moment to determine what the dark shape in the haze was. 

“Is that a barn?” Jon whispered, eyeing the large structure atop of the steep hill before them.

“Let’s check it out.” Robb said, hoisting himself down over a rocky overhang. Jon’s heart leapt in his throat as he realised he was about to step off of it unwittingly; his fatigue and the ash that cloaked the world got the better of his senses. He descended, throwing his bag down before him, landing with a soft thud on the pebbles below.

“This used to be a river, I think.” He said, kicking aside a pebble. It was worn down smooth.

“No water though.” Robb said, pulling off his bandanna to shake the grime from it, and he scratched at his red beard with dirty fingers. “I would love to jump in a river and cleanse myself right now.”

“Yeah, me too. Let’s go check out this barn first. We can try and find a river later.”

They ascended up a great hill; steep enough at times that Jon had to grip his fingers into the earth. There were indeed blades of grass under the filth, and he felt guilty as he pulled a fistful out to stop himself from slipping back down the slope. Panting, they lay for a moment in the dust as they reached the top, Robb chuckling a bit to himself in disbelief that he had managed to climb.

“You did well.” Jon panted to him between heavy breaths. “Here, let’s get going.”

Jon helped Robb to his feet, coughing dust from his polluted lungs. Robb leaned on Jon’s shoulder again until they were close to the barn. Jon crouched down, and listened for any small sounds. There was nothing but silence, and the wind. 

“You stay here.” Jon said to Robb. “I’ll check it out. You keep the dogs here until I come back.”

Robb nodded, too tired to argue anymore, and wrapped each arm around one of the great beasts.

Jon crept up to the barn, suddenly very aware of the noise of his boots trampling the grass. He held his breath as he quickly moved to the barn doors, and lay with his head against one. He could hear nothing. The door was not bolted or locked in any way. Jon pried the door open with a knife, and suddenly was overwhelmed by a horrific smell that seemingly clung to him as he backed away. He pulled down his bandanna and coughed, retching, covering his face with the back of his hand. A thin line of bile spilled from his mouth, and he wiped his dirty sleeve across his face. He quickly moved backwards, tears in his eyes, and moved back towards Robb, whose eyes were stricken with concern. 

“What…?” Robb started, one hand reaching to pull the bandanna from Jon’s throat.

“There’s something dead in there. If I had to guess, there are a lot of dead things in there. No way that was just one dead cow.” Jon panted, taking a sip of water from the canteen Robb handed him, his lips trembling. 

“If there’s a barn, there’s probably a farm house too.” Rob said, pulling up his hood and bracing against a gust of chilly wind. “We can hang out for a while if you need a minute.”

“No I’m alright, let’s go.”

They walked slowly, hand in hand. Jon still felt sick to his stomach, and Robb was clearly worn down from using his injured leg. Even the dogs, usually full of energy and bounding ahead of them, had slowed to walk behind them, panting and whining. The sun had set now, but the moon shone bright enough that they did not use their torches. 

“See, what did I tell you?” Robb smiled, squeezing Jon’s hand, gesturing with his free one to a small shape that lay below them down another steep slope. They crept down the hill on hands and knees, holding onto tufts of dying plant life as they went. Once the terrain was no longer too steep, they stood up, dusting their hands on their jeans, and proceeded towards the house cautiously. The house was in reality more or less a tiny farm cottage with a rusted mailbox out the front and a lone dirt path leading from it presumably to the highway. 

After circling the house many times, listening for movement, Jon was satisfied that it was not occupied, and he crept in through an unlocked window. Not unlike the previous house they were sleeping in, the interior of the house seemed a time capsule of life before everything changed, blanketed with dust.

Robb shed his army jacket and carefully draped it over a chair, sending dust mites spiralling into the deathly still air. Jon quickly moved from room to room, checking for signs of life. Once he was satisfied with the emptiness of the house, he threw his backpack down onto the couch and let his head roll back, staring at the ceiling. 

The cottage was small, made of beaten weatherboard, but it was comfortable. The front door opened onto a small living and dining room, with a small couch covered in a floral pattern and a small, archaic television. The floor creaked underfoot, but was not draughty. There was a small table to seat four people in the room, and beyond the table was the kitchen, all cheap linoleum and rust. There was an old staircase with railing that lead upstairs to many bedrooms. Jon listened as Robb’s footsteps creaked their way up the stairs and the dogs bounded up behind him, but he did not move. Just behind him lay the door to the master bedroom where they would spend the night, but Jon didn’t think he even had the capacity to shift his fatigued body.

“Candles!” Robb yelled down the stairs, excitedly liking one as he limped down the steps. “Also there’s some clothes here, I hope I can find something that fits, I’m really sick of wearing the same two outfits all the time.”

He sunk down into the couch next to Jon and rested his head on his shoulder, cupping the tiny tealight candle in his hands.   
“You stink, Jon.” He laughed. “I mean I do as well, want to have a bath?”

Jon pushed his head playfully, but his hand was weak. “Is the gas working? I saw they had a big tank on the side of the house.” 

“Yeah, they had hot water, I checked. Come on.” Robb placed the candle down on the small table to his side, and got up, pulling Jon up with him. “You feed the dogs, I’ll run the bath. We should wash our clothes while we do that.”

“Yeah alright.” 

Jon trudged into the kitchen and searched the cupboards. He found two big bowls for the dogs, and opened a can of dog food into each of them. The smell of the dog food made his stomach turn again, but the dogs wolfed it down greedily, their great plumed tails wagging.

Jon searched the drawers of the master bedroom as he heard the sound of water filling the bathtub upstairs. The previous inhabitants of the house kept a simple style of clothes, and Jon managed to locate a dark pair of jeans that he thought might fit Robb. He guessed there was a solitary man that lived there, judging by he clothing left. There were little personal effects – no photographs in frames or nick-knacks atop of the dresser. Contemplating what kind of a man lived there, Jon wandered up the stairs and into the bathroom which was illuminated with the glow of tea lights. 

Robb was sitting in the tub, his injured leg resting on the side, wet fingers cradling a lit cigarette. The water was a pallid grey from the dust. 

“We’ll have to get out and re-fill the tub to get clean, but man, I don’t think I’ve ever enjoyed a bath so much.”

Jon shed his dirty clothing and threw it onto the counter with Robb’s, and sunk into the warmth of the bath with a sigh. The tub was cramped and not meant to hold the bodies of two grown men, but the heat of the water was so relaxing that Jon did not care. He cupped warm water onto his face, and washed away the grime. 

“Here.” Robb said, handing Jon a bar of soap as he blew a plume of smoke sideways. 

“I found some jeans I think that might fit you.” Jon said, casting a sideways glance at Robb’s sore as he ran the soap down his arms. Little grey rivers ran down into the water.

“Thanks.” Robb said as he put his cigarette out on the side of the tub. “You know, I think we’re getting closer to a town or something, it feels like any time we move on we have to travel less distance to a new place.”

“I’ve noticed that. Did you see there was grass back there? I can’t remember the last time we saw living grass.”

“Yeah. I know we’ve mostly been trying to avoid cities, but I think we should see if we can find a pharmacy.”

Jon sighed; splashing his face again with cupped hands of water, raking the dirt from his stubble with his fingernails. “I think that’s a good idea. We just have to be careful.”

“This water is pretty gross already, want to get out and fill the tub up again?”

“Sure.”

After bathing and brushing their teeth, leaving their clothes soaking in the tub, they climbed into the double bed together, bodies clean and naked and warm for the first time in what felt like a long time. Robb nuzzled Jon playfully, rubbing his non-bandaged leg against Jon’s own, and wrapping his arms around him. 

For a moment, as he had many times before, Jon wrestled with the guilt of knowing what they were doing was wrong. Robb was his half-brother, but they always had a magnetic attraction to one another. When the world changed, Jon gave in to his desire, knowing that each day could very well be his last.   
Robb’s arms flowed up and down his body like water, and Jon sighed, his body still incredibly fatigued but lust overpowered his will to sleep. 

They kissed softly, Robb gently pulling at Jon’s lower lip with his teeth, and Jon ran his hands down onto Robb’s back, raking his fingernails up hard enough to give Robb goose pimples. 

“I want to fuck you so badly.” Robb moaned into Jon’s thick dark hair, before kissing down to his cock, teasing him for just a moment with his tongue before coming back for more kisses. 

“Fuck me then.” Jon sneered, grabbing Robb’s hair roughly to pull him in for a kiss while he slowly guided Robb inside of him. Jon loved the feverish way that Robb pressed their flesh together, biting down on his neck hard, pinning him down with strong hands. He let himself chant Robb’s name amongst cries for more as Robb thrust into him with an urgency that surprised Jon. Jon felt a flush of embarrassment as he felt himself lose control and come rather quickly, but relieved when Robb was soon to follow him, squeezing him hard and panting his name as he met his climax.

They lay in bed together afterwards. Jon’s stomach was sticky but he was too exhausted to get up and do anything about it. He rested his head on Robb’s lower stomach, listening to the soft thud of Robb’s heartbeat and the burn of tobacco and smoking paper as Robb indulged himself in his ritualistic post-sex smoke. It was beginning to be light out as Jon drifted off to sleep, Robb’s fingers lazily teasing his hair. His last thoughts were of memories of birdsong, and how much he hated the gloomy silence that smothered all life now, always.


	3. Chapter 3

That night he dreamt of the highway.

He remembered the feeling of lying in bed, the sound of cars echoing around him.

Jon wandered barefoot in his dream, and felt the cool, uneven asphalt trembling as a car rolled by, narrowly avoiding him. He lay down, cheek flush against the rough black endless stretch, his arms outstretched. The ground shook again as a truck rounded the corner, and he waited to embrace death as it rolled over him. He looked down at his body as the truck continued past him, not for a moment hesitating as it continued its journey down the road. His body was broken, crumpled like a paper doll, a thick pool of blood and viscera underneath him. But Jon was still alive. He tried to scream but he could do nothing but clutch at his own mouth with broken fingers.

Jon sat awake in a sweat, sunlight streaming upon his face, dust motes carelessly dancing in the beam of light that pooled on his legs. His skin was clammy with sweat, but his body was not broken. His stomach rumbled, verifying his existence. 

Jon slowly got up, pulling on a t-shirt that was slightly too large, but clean. He descended down the stairs that creaked under his slight frame, and rounded the corner to the kitchen. Robb was there, airing out their newly clean clothes on a line he had seemingly fashioned himself. Jon frowned to himself for a moment, noting how much weight Robb had lost recently; his spine stretched up his back quite well pronounced and even some of his ribs were slightly visible under his thin white t-shirt. Jon swallowed dryly, and pressed a damp cheek between Robb’s shoulder blades, his palms snaking around to hold him.

“You ok?” Robb asked, pulling away slightly to turn around and embrace him.

“Yeah. Bad dream… and I’m just run down.” Jon murmured into Robb’s chest.

“We need to go on another run. I went walking this morning with the dogs. I didn’t get a good enough look to see what stores were there but I saw the edge of town, and there’s a few houses on the way there.”

“You went without me? I don’t want you doing that, for both our sakes.”

Robb sighed in frustration, patting Jon’s back. “I know but I was restless, you were asleep and we don’t have much food left at all.”

“You know I’m not trying to be annoying, I’m just worried about you going alone, especially with your leg.” 

“I’m fine. You were sleeping and we needed to scope out the area anyway. It’s already light out, we should get going now if you want to go today.”

“Yeah, let’s get going.” Jon sighed.

They closed the door gently behind them as they set out again, this time Robb leading the way through the decayed terrain. They decided to leave the dogs home, it was too risky bringing them out if they needed to move with stealth. Walls of blackened trees seemed to frame the property, and Jon tried to guess what they might have been. Probably some sort of pine, judging by what seemed to be needles littering the earth. Before long they reached another small cottage, nearly identical to the one they slept in the night before.

“So I think we have two options –“ Robb said, scratching at his beard pensively “either we go and check out these little houses today, or we can go further out and look to see what’s in store for us at the town.” 

“I think we should try in town. I don’t think we’ll have much luck with these places, most people seemed to be smart enough to take food with them when they left, if they had the chance.” Jon replied, shifting the weight of his backpack. 

Kicking up small whirlwinds of dust behind them, the pair set off, their eyes scanning through the dead trees for signs of life. There were none. 

The town itself was small, more like a highway rest stop with a few stores attached and an old diner. Jon felt a pang of nostalgia, remembering long trips and nursing hangovers over cups of coffee under neon lights. 

They crept down the road, boots snapping twigs of charcoal underfoot. Robb’s eyes lit up as they rounded the corner where the gas station was positioned and came across a clothing store, situated right next to a large general store.

“Let’s go shopping!” Robb laughed, puling on the dust-covered stainless steel door handle of the clothing shop. It was locked. They wandered around the building, searching for an opportunity to get inside. There was a small window, covered in grime, angled open. There were no fingerprints, suggesting that it had been open for quite some time, but one could never be sure.

“Help me get up, I’ll open it from the inside.” Robb said, shedding his backpack and jacket. Jon opened his mouth to object, but closed it again. He wanted to go through himself, but he didn’t think Robb’s leg could bear carrying his weight. His heart was in his throat as he heard the shuffle and thud of Robb’s landing, and his body visibly deflated with relief as he heard familiar footsteps move towards the front of the building. Jon went around to the front and Robb made faces at him through the glass as he unlocked the door.

The place was seemingly untouched, all the garments remaining neatly folded in little stacks on large tables. Jon strangely enjoyed the mundane nature of trying on clothes in a store, in a way he never had quite felt before. For a brief moment he forgot about why they were there. They kept their jackets and boots, but gladly shed their shirts, stained with grit and sweat in exchange for fresh t-shirts and hooded jumpers. They found new jeans. They stuffed all they could carry into their backpacks. They could always leave a few jumpers behind if they were lucky enough to find lots of food. 

The general store was in a condition that was less fortunate for them. The entire store was in disarray as though someone had chanced upon the rancid meat and rotting vegetables and threw them to the floor in disgust. Robb found a lone dented can of lentils, but that was all left of anything edible.

They left disappointed and trudged along past the diner and a garage. The last shop on the strip was a small pharmacy.

“At least we can try for some antibiotics and fresh bandages if there’s no food to be found here.” Jon said, drawing his hood up against the wind that blew against his back.

The doors to the pharmacy were unlocked, the glass seemingly punched in from the outside, but the pharmacy shelves were still orderly. Jon beamed to himself as he pushed several boxes of bandages into his open bag. Robb walked down the aisle past him towards the back area where the prescription medication would be kept. He reached the end of the aisle and froze. 

“Two of you?”

The voice was deep and unfamiliar to Jon. The voice had a feigned confidence, but Jon could hear it quivering slightly. 

“We aren’t armed and we don’t want any trouble.” Robb whispered, raising his arms into the air.

“The other one. In the aisle. Come out.” The man said, voice more stable now. “Hands behind your head.”

Jon did as he was bid, legs turning into jelly as he stood next to Robb. The man himself was tall and slim, looking slightly too young to be balding as much as he was. Jon was surprised to see that the man was not alone. Next to him was a woman with dirty blonde hair, clutching an infant in her arms, and both herself and her baby watched Jon and Robb silently.

“Please, we just wanted antibiotics for his infected leg. We don’t mean any harm to anyone.” Jon whispered, licking his chapped lips nervously.

“You’ve got a knife.” The man observed, gesturing to Jon with his pistol. “Drop it to the floor and kick it over to me. Your bags too.”

They complied, and the man stooped forward just slightly to pick up their bags, his eyes never leaving them. The man rifled through their things while they watched in silence. He seemed satisfied, sheathing his pistol into the holster he wore at his hip.

“You boys heading to the camp?” The man asked, hitching up his belt under a thumb. The woman remained silent and still but her baby gurgled in her arms.

“Camp?” Jon asked as he swung his bag back onto his shoulder.

“For refugees.” The man replied. “Apparently there’s an army presence there and they keep things under control, there’s food and water too.”

Robb glanced to Jon, but said nothing.

“Here.” The man said, throwing a bottle of pills to Robb. “You can take these antibiotics, but you can understand why I’m going to have to ask you both to leave quietly now. Can’t trust folks much these days.”

Jon nodded. “Thank you.” He whispered, and they left the pharmacy, feeling the man’s eyes on them as they left. 

“Let’s get the fuck out of here.” Robb said, picking up his pace.

“Yeah, let’s go home.” Jon said, his stomach twisting in knots at the thought of what home was. A stranger’s house that they would sleep in for maybe a week before moving on somewhere else; Jon wondered whether they would ever have a home again.

That night they ate the lentils they found and gave the dogs the last of their food. Jon remembered the sights of Robb’s ribs and spine twisting beneath thin white fabric, and brought his knees to his chest to try and pinch away his hunger as he gave Robb the majority of the food. His heart was still pounding after the encounter with the man and the gun. He could tell as usual Robb wanted to converse, but Jon simply could not find any words.

Robb waited until they were in bed to broach the subject of the supposed refugee camp.

“Do you think he was telling the truth?” Robb asked as he nestled in closer to Jon to try and steal some of his body heat.

“About the camp? I don’t know.” Jon said, lifting his arm up so that Robb could lay his head on his chest. “I think he believes it exist, but whether it actually does or not is a different thing altogether.”

“Yeah.” Robb whispered, placing a gentle kiss next to Jon’s nipple. “I was pretty scared back there. I can’t believe he didn’t take anything, and let us take the antibiotics too.”

“I hope they work.” Jon said, running his fingers through Robb’s auburn curls. Robb leaned up and they kissed for a moment, and Jon felt himself becoming hard already. As Robb pushed the dark mop of hair out of his eyes, he thought about how today he could have died – or even worse – Robb could have died. 

He let his feverish kisses be guided down to Robb’s stomach with a gentle push of a hand on his head. He let his lips glide up and down Robb’s shaft, sighing heavy, ragged breaths as he pleasured himself. Once Robb’s cock was slick from base to tip, he mounted him and groaned with pleasure as he eased his body at a pace that was teasingly slow. Jon pressed his forehead on Robb’s shoulder as Robb took his hips roughly and thrust up into him in the frantic rhythm that he loved so much. Robb finished inside him, and then greedily pleasured Jon with his mouth until he reached his climax. 

Afterwards they lay together, Jon’s head resting on Robb’s shoulder again as Robb breathed grey coils of smoke. The burn of the cigarette and the gentle sighs as Robb exhaled soothed him, and soon Jon was lying in a dreamlike state, where he could not tell whether he was still awake or not. Robb’s voice confirmed that he was still conscious.

“I wish we didn’t have to eat or think about surviving, I just want to stay in bed forever.” 

“Yeah.” Jon sighed sleepily, squeezing his arm around Robb’s waist tighter.

“I guess we’ll have to get moving tomorrow though.” Rob said, his words punctuated by smoke.

“Yeah.” Jon repeated, as his head sunk down into the pillow and he drifted out of consciousness.


	4. Chapter 4

Jon woke in the same crumpled position he’d fallen asleep in, and for once Robb was still beside him. Robb always woke up first, and always got out of bed to do something. It had always been that way, ever since Jon could remember. He poked at Robb’s ribs with a finger playfully, and Robb moaned and swatted him away with an arm as though he were an annoying insect. Jon settled down next to him, and decided he would lie his head down and listen to Robb’s heartbeat until Robb decided they should get up. 

It wasn’t long before he felt Robb’s hand gently push him away, and Robb sat up, still naked from the night before, and pulled on his t-shirt, sighing to himself. 

He looked down to see Jon looking up at him, and bent down to kiss Jon’s forehead.

“I want to have another bath before we leave.” Robb said, smoothing away a dark wave of hair. “I want to shave too. I know you said no, but I’m sick of this shit.” Robb gestured to his red beard in frustration.

“I’m just worried that if someone sees us with clean-shaven faces and our clean clothes, they’re going to think we have stuff worth taking.” Jon said, as Robb tucked an arm around him and attempted to pull him upright.

“Do you think they’ll actually care, Jon? If they’re the kind of person who is going to attack someone else because they look like they might something, chances are looking scruffy and dirty aren’t going to deter them much. I’d rather have this little comfort and keep on avoiding people while we travel.” Robb got out of bed; a slightly sour look on his face, and Jon slumped down onto the warm sheets where he was lying moments before, eyeing him. As Robb rounded the corner to walk out of the room he turned back to Jon and laughed. “You look much better clean shaven too.”

Jon rolled his eyes to himself and got dressed as he listened to the sound of running water and the scratching of Razor blades slicing through coarse hair. Robb had managed to find a can of shaving cream in the bathroom cupboard, and they both went to task, squeezing in front of a tiny mirror speckled with grit and water droplets. 

“This feels amazing.” Robb said as he ran his hand over a freshly-shaven cheek. 

“You’re not wrong there.” Jon said. “And you’re right, this is worth the comfort. I’m sorry I’m so crazy and overly cautious.” 

“It’s ok.” Robb smiled as he pat away his face with a small towel. “I know you’re just looking out for us, you’re not crazy, Jon. You’re welcome to join me in the bath again.” He said as he paced away, throwing his shirt over his head and turning on the faucet of the bathtub.

“Go ahead, I’m fine.” Jon said.

“Suit yourself, I can’t get clean enough these days.” Robb said, as he undid his jeans. Jon turned away, slightly embarrassed at his awkward self that he felt like he wasn’t allowed to look. Robb paced out of the room, and he stared down at his fingers, clutching at the razor blade covered in flecks of hair and mounds of shaving cream. 

“Maybe I am crazy.” He whispered to himself, imagining the blade slicing through his pale skin. He knew it would be easy to do, but he could never leave Robb alone, not in this world, not anymore.

He finished up and splashed his face with water. He laughed at his own reflection. He had rarely had time to stop and look at his own reflection, and when he caught glimpses of himself he saw a stranger looking back at him. Jon had almost forgotten how he looked, and he felt a slight pang of disappointment as he realised he looked older, slightly more drawn and gaunt than he remembered being. 

He threw down the towel and walked into the bedroom, past Robb who was returning to the bathroom, flopping down on the bed next to their bags. He stared at the ceiling, listening to the sound of the water still cascading into the tub, and heard Robb getting in and washing himself.

“I’m totally talking all this soap with us.” Robb called from the other room.

Jon laughed “Yeah that would be nice. Never thought I’d be so excited at the idea of cheap soap in my life.”

After a few minutes he heard the splashing sounds of Robb ascending out of the water and the sucking of water draining from the bath. Robb sat down next to him, and placed a gentle kiss on his smooth cheek.

“Let’s go.”

The wind had picked up again today, but Jon almost enjoyed the renewed sensation on his cheeks, and only tied his bandanna around his face when the dust became unbearable. The dogs followed behind them as Jon and Robb set back in the direction of the town they explored the day before, this time choosing to keep their distance from the strip of shops. 

“We never discussed whether we’d go check out this camp or not.” Robb panted, his voice muffled through cotton and the howling wind.

“I don’t know what we should do. Other than keep moving.” Jon replied.

The dogs snuffled and pawed at the earth, searching for scents to follow but their noses could not seek anything out. They walked along the top of a hill that seemed to curve around the town, carefully treading on the crumbling earth. On the other side of the hill there was a dried-up riverbed and the skeletons of dead trees, but little else. Once they made their way past the town, they chanced upon what once was a hunting cabin, half of it burnt to the ground. They did not even bother themselves with searching the wreckage; they could not afford to waste the precious daylight they had left. Jon wondered whether the building had been burnt down recently, but he couldn’t tell at a glance – the whole world as far as he knew was covered in ash.

From where they were walking they could see the highway, the small town in the distance behind them now. The opposite side of the highway was seemingly just a mirror of where they were walking, other than being occasionally peppered with signs that had been spray-painted over with symbols that might have meant something, but Jon had no clue. 

Jon ran down the hill at noon to relieve himself while Robb waited with the dogs, his bandanna pulled down to his throat. There was more grass on the hill here – living but being suffocated under ash. The winds had died down enough that Robb had a cigarette, and sat in silence while the dogs panted beside him.  
“Hey.” He hissed to Jon, butting out his cigarette and then smothering any small traces of it with a boot. 

“What?” Jon asked, as he sat down next to Robb, reaching for his backpack.

“Car.”

Jon looked off into the distance, in the direction they had come from, craning his neck to see what Robb was looking at. There was indeed a car; it’s droning engine slightly audible now as it made it’s way down the highway. They watched as it rolled down the asphalt past them and disappeared out of sight again where the highway nestled between thicker clumps of dead trees. It was no mere car; in fact it was seemingly an army vehicle, with large wheels meant for crossing rough terrain, and its body painted with a camouflage. They were too distant to see the people inside. 

“How long has it been since we last saw a car, working?” Robb asked.

“A long time.” Jon said.

“What’re the chances that’s actually an army vehicle and isn’t just stolen?”

“No idea. If there’s a camp though, that’s probably where it’s heading, right?”

Robb nodded as they stood up, dusting down their clothes with their hands. “I kind of feel like this whole camp thing sounds a little too good to be true.”

“Yeah, so do I.” Jon said. “I’m pretty fucking curious though.”

As they continued onward, Jon went through a mental checklist of all the human contact they experienced since they travelled together. Mostly they had spotted bands of men like the ones that took Theon, and they always tried to give those people a wide berth. Jon felt a pang of guilt through his body again, and blinked back the tears forming in his eyes. He hated the thought of Theon’s body left to lie rotting somewhere in a dead forest, but he hated himself even more for not being able, or willing to stop those men. 

Robb seemed to have a sixth sense for Jon’s emotional state, and he wordlessly reached out and gently placed his hand on Jon’s shoulder. 

After what seemed like an eternity of walking together in silence through the repetitive terrain, they chanced upon a small stream, with a thread of water that shone silver in the reflection of the sun. The dogs bounded forward to take a drink, and the water ran clear enough that Robb and Jon took some more water for their canteens as well. They washed some of the dirt from their faces, which had been stained pallid greyish hues from the microscopic bits of ash flowing through the constant wind. They decided to ignore their pattern of sticking close to the highway, and decided to walk along the bank of the river together.   
They walked on blackened pebbles that were smooth underfoot and rolled away beneath their weight. Robb hummed an odd tune to himself so quiet it was almost under his breath, and Jon wondered what song it was, but he didn’t ask. The wind blew in great gusts that howled amongst the trees, and then when it ceased there were moments of deathly silence, which hung heavy in the air like a cloud.

Ahead of them, there was a sound that caused the dogs to prick their ears and stop. Jon crouched down, listening intently, trying to hear what had the dogs’ attention. It was hard to hear under the howl of the wind, but there were the voices of several men. Remaining as low to the ground as possible, they moved quickly out of the river and sought cover behind a large rock with a fallen tree leaning upon it. Jon panicked, feeling that Robb’s breath sounded painfully loud beside him, and he held his own in a panic. 

The men were far enough away though that they did not notice them at all, and their attention was fixed squarely upon one of their own. Jon attempted to catch words but they were all stolen away by the wind. 

The crack of a gunshot broke through the wind and Jon flinched, ducking down further instinctively. He lifted his shaking head up again to peer over the log, and saw that now one of the men was laying prone, blood spilling out from his stomach. The three other men stood and seemed to regard him for a moment. One kicked a stone at the man, clutching at his torso and gasping for air, and then the three of them turned and headed back the way they came, thankfully in the opposite direction to where Robb and Jon were hiding. Jon let himself breathe again.

“We should help him, or at least talk to him or something.” Robb whispered, his eyes never leaving the man. 

“Wait.” Jon said, his heart thumping so heart in his chest he swore it could be heard. They waited what seemed like an eternity, but likely only mere minutes. The man continued to gasp and sob to himself, and Jon himself felt he was in agony having to wait and watch him slowly dying. After a while, Robb stood up, making Jon gasp, but soon he was on his feet mindlessly following Robb, completely unsure as to what he could do.

Rob kneeled beside the man, looking down at his injury. The man’s shirt was already completely soaked with blood, and the man sobbed and shook, crying out to himself, completely ignoring Robb’s presence. 

“Hey.” Robb said in a soft, breathy voice, like the kind a person uses when talking to a frightened animal. “We saw you get shot. I can help you, I’ve got spare t shirts here we can use to try and compress the wound.”

Robb threw his bag down next to him, which raised a small cloud of dust with it, hastily pulling out a t-shirt and pushing it down on the wound. The man sobbed and made a pained, frantic noise. 

“Travellers?” The man gasped. It was only when he spoke that Jon realised just how young he was - twenty at the most Jon would have guessed. He had a slightly southern accent, and was dressed in a simple pair of khaki pants and a white t-shirt, which was now crimson with his blood.

“We saw you get shot.” Robb reiterated, his hands already stained to the wrists with the young man’s blood. “What happened? Who were those guys?” 

“I fucked up.” The boy laughed to himself deliriously. “Doesn’t matter how.”

“Maybe we can take you somewhere where there’s doctors. We spoke to some people who talked of a refugee camp nearby-” Jon said.

“Came from there.” He replied between gasps. “If that’s where you were headed… maybe reconsider.” He gestured with his shaking hand to his wound, bloodstains running up to his elbow.

Jon and Robb exchanged a glance.

“I’m not going to survive long out here.” The man said, his voce trembling with pain but his face oddly calm. “You don’t happen to have a gun, do you?”

Jon’s stomach turned. “No.”

The man glanced up to Robb, his eyes wide and feverish. “Please, can you just end it for me? You don’t have to bury me or nothin’ just don’t leave me here to wait days to die.”

“Ok.” Robb whispered to him, his lips trembling. His reply was fast and certain enough that it surprised Jon, but he knew Robb meant it.

“You don’t have to Robb, I could –” Jon started to protest, but Robb ignored him, latching bony fingers around the young man’s throat. 

“Robb please – I can do it. I don’t…” His words fell away out of his head, and he suddenly felt numb. Jon felt helpless as he watched as Robb throttled the small amount of life left out of the boy. He kicked at the dust feebly with his legs and held his hands on Robb’s, but did not attempt to pry Robb’s fingers from his jugular. Soon his body relaxed, and he laid completely still, a thin cloud of dust already settling on his body. Robb stood up, his hands stained with blood and his hands trembling, and he picked up his backpack, slinging it back over one shoulder. Jon looked into his eyes, expecting them to be full of tears, but they looked calm and thoughtful as always.

“Ok, let’s go.” Robb said.


	5. Chapter 5

Rain had begun to pour, and the countryside became blanketed in a layer of grey mud. Jon stared out the window, his forehead pressed against the cold glass, staring into space. They had travelled for a long time, barely exchanging two words, until they chanced upon rows and rows of houses. It seemed to be a suburb at the outer edge of the city, with new houses that were nearly identical to one another, especially with their coats of grey dust. 

The house was easy to break in, and Jon was thankful for the shelter. He did not fancy the idea of sleeping outside unprotected knowing there were others out there, and avoiding being chilled to the bone was probably wise, especially for Robb and his injured leg. 

They had exchanged few words, but Jon didn’t feel like talking much. He did not know how to feel about Robb’s seemingly unchanged disposition, even though he had just killed a man in cold blood. 

“Hey.” Robb said softly, appearing in the doorway, his silhouette reflected on the glare of the window. Jon pushed himself away from the window and turned to see Robb holding bowls filled with canned beans, his feet bare on the carpet.

“There’s a few more cans here.” He said softly “Come on, let’s eat, I’m starving.”

They sat in silence and ate there, on the floor of the bedroom. Jon felt as though his body was screaming out for more food, but he hadn’t heard it until he could smell it. He had reached the point in hunger where he had stopped thinking about food and just felt listless, but he ate the whole bowlful, knowing that his body would delight in the nourishment. The rain gently eased up while they were eating, and once they were finished they sat in silence together listening to the delicate pitter-patter. 

“Are you alright, Jon?” Robb asked, his voice cutting through the silence like a knife. Jon stretched his arms above his head and sighed, allowing his body to sink back against the side of the bed. 

“Just completely and utterly exhausted.” Jon muttered.

“Yeah, me too. I think we should rest here a couple of days, if we can.”

“Yeah.”

“You know what I found downstairs? Old records, like, hundreds of them. I wish we had electricity just so we could listen to them.”

“Yeah, I miss music a lot too. More than most things. Definitely more than TV.” Jon laughed. “What kind of music?”

Robb took out a candle and lit it between them, his face illuminated in a slightly orange glow before setting it down softly on the carpet. “Whoever owned these was a big collector. A lot of it was old jazz and blues albums, lots of stuff I’ve never honestly heard of.”

“I don’t think I’d care much what it was, after so long it would be nice just to hear any tune.” Jon said, absent-mindedly running his fingers over his smooth chin, as he had been doing often since they shaved off their beards. Robb lay down on the carpet, his eyes staring into the flickering flame of the candle, his hair tumbling down over one side of his face. Jon’s eyes wandered down his body to his leg. He opened his mouth to ask about it, but closed it again, deciding that now was not the right time. Jon’s attention was suddenly stolen by a bright flash in his eyes and a loud clicking noise, and his eyes snapped back up to Robb’s face, now obscured by a large camera. He peeled the camera away from his eyes, a broad smile spread across his face. 

“Found this too, Polaroid – with film. I think it’s probably the greatest thing I’ve found in my life.” Robb laughed, as the photo slowly peeled its way from the body of the camera. He took it out, delicately holding the corner between a thumb and forefinger, and offered it to Jon.

“Souvenir.” 

“Thanks, asshole.”

Robb rolled onto his elbows and peered at the image materialising in Jon’s hand, his own hands still clutching the camera. 

“Cute.”

Jon snatched the camera from him, and put it on the carpet behind his back.

“Something tells me this camera is going to annoy the fuck out of me if I don’t take it away from you.” Jon laughed, pushing on Robb’s shoulder in jest. Robb pouted in an over-exaggerated, comical way, and then reached across the carpet and took the drying photo of Jon in his fingers again.

“I’m keeping this then, and I was going to let you have it t-“ Robb was stopped mid-sentence as the camera flashed again, this time in Jon’s hands.

“Dick.” Robb laughed, snatching the wet photo as soon as it came from the camera. “This one’s mine too, now.”

Jon heard a noise outside, and pulled his alert body to the window, peeking over the sill. There was a small party of men, laughing to each other, carrying rifles; their boots slipping in the mud as they walked down the street away from the house Robb and Jon were in. Jon could not be sure whether it was paranoia or coincidence, but he thought they might have been the same men who took Theon. Robb had snuffed out the candle and sat down next to Jon by the window, stuffing the photos in his pockets. They peered out together, watching the men as they proceeded around the corner and out of sight. The men seemed to be heading towards the city. Jon wondered briefly whether they should do the same. They waited for a minute, and then Jon sunk down again, sighing with relief. Robb placed a hand on Jon’s thigh, and they exchanged a look, and laughed in relief simultaneously. 

“I don’t think I can handle any people.” Robb said, and then looked at Jon’s vacant expression, and gave him a sly wink. “Uh… present company not included of course.” 

“Let’s get that candle lit again.” Jon said scrabbling forward in search of the small wax pillar, and taking Robb’s lighter he lit the wick again. “Can we talk, Robb? I’m worried.”

Robb sighed in exasperation, and got up onto the bed, sitting on the corner nearest to Jon. “I’m fine. You seem to think I’m falling apart here, but you’re the one who we need to be looking out for more, Jon.”

Jon’s cheeks flushed red, and he could not tell whether it was from embarrassment or anger. “You won’t seem to admit that your leg is troubling you.” His voice trembled slightly. “I see it though, I see how often you change those bandages, how lightly you walk on that leg. You’re not as strong as you think you are.”

Robb flopped back down onto the bed. “I know you seem to think I’m some feeble old man or something, but I’m fine. It doesn’t slow me down. I’m still able to look out for you, and myself too. I did what had to be done back there –“

“That doesn’t mean you’re strong Robb, I could have done it too.”

“I don’t think you could have Jon. You don’t have it in you to do what I did. You would have left him out there to die slowly and you know it.” Robb’s voice was raised, and tense, which made Jon feel uneasy. 

“I – “ Jon started, but he did not know how to respond.

“I’m stronger than you think, and definitely stronger than you. So can you fuck off with the constant worrying?” Robb spat, as though the words were toxic.

There was bitterness in Robb’s voice that made Jon’s heart ache physically, as tears welled up in his eyes. 

“It’s only because I care about you, asshole.” He whispered, standing up and starting to walk out the room, not really knowing where he would go but needing to get away from Robb’s anger and frustration. He kicked the candle over on his way, spilling wax all over the carpet. Robb followed him from the bed, calling his name, but Jon ignored him, pacing quickly towards the bathroom where he planned to lock himself inside and wait out his tears. Jon gasped in surprise as he felt his arm grabbed and Robb pulled him in close, kissing his lips hard, hands gripping his shirt. Jon tried to object but Robb kissed him hard enough that any words he tried to find were stifled. Robb continued to pull him, walking backwards until they were back in the bedroom, seemingly ignoring his usual need to limp, and with a forceful shove threw Jon down onto the bed. 

“I’m still strong enough to do that.” Robb said, pulling his shirt over his head, and joining Jon on the bed, pinning him down with his hands. Jon squirmed under his weight slightly, minding that he did not push against the sore on Robb’s leg. Robb’s calloused fingers gripped Jon’s jaw hard, and he leant down to roughly kiss him again. This time Jon let himself relax a little, and pouted his lips open to the kiss. Freeing one hand from under Robb, he grabbed his auburn curls hard and forced his head back, placing ferocious kisses and nibbles on his neck. Robb’s hand unlatched from his jaw, but instead made it’s way down to his stomach, where he tore up at his t-shirt in a frantic effort to take it off. Robb moaned softly, and Jon delighted in the vibration of his voice under his kisses. Rob’s hand searched lower and he rubbed the flat of his palm firmly downwards. He pulled away from Jon’s eager kisses for a moment and smirked.

“You’re hard already; you like it that I’m still strong enough to pin you down don’t you?”

Jon laughed, and grabbed Robb’s shoulders hard, throwing him down onto the bed beside him. He threw a leg over him and straddled his chest, hands pinning both arms down.

“You’re not that strong.” Jon remarked, with a smile. He shifted so that now his hands were free, Robb’s arms still being pinned by his knees and under the weight of his body. He quickly unbuttoned his jeans and pulled his cock out, incredibly hard. Robb didn’t hesitate for a moment, and he craned his head forward, just enough so that his smooth lips and wet tongue could tease the head. Jon moaned, running both hands through Robb’s hair, pushing it back off his face so that he could watch him better. He then leaned forward, his palms open wide, fingertips bracing against the wall behind the head of the bed, forcing his cock deeper into Robb’s mouth. Robb continued to suck, moving his head back and fourth in a rhythm that pleased Jon. He pulled away with a wet popping sound, and stared up at Jon, eyes filled with laughter.

“Ok, my neck is killing me.” He panted, breathless, a thread of saliva on his chin, which Jon wiped off with a thumb. “My arms are going numb now, too.”  
Jon realised he was still kneeling on Robb’s arms, and shifted himself backwards so that Robb’s arms were finally free. Robb instantly wriggled his hands, obviously feeling the blood rushing back into them.

“You’re so dumb.” Robb said, grinning as he grabbed Jon and rolled them over, so he was back on top of Jon again. Robb gave Jon’s face a playful slap, and then he kissed Jon again savagely, pulling at his lower lip with his teeth. Jon could feel one of Robb’s hands between them, pulling down his undone jeans, while the other one pinned down Jon’s throat. Jon swallowed, feeling a strange tense sensation in his stomach, knowing that the hand on his throat was on another man’s less than 24 hours ago, stealing the life from him. 

Jon gasped in surprise as he felt a finger slip inside him, forcing his mind back to his own body, and Robb leant down to kiss him, releasing the grip from his throat. Jon moaned as Robb pushed another finger roughly inside him, cringing slightly from the pain but he endured it. Robb pulled his fingers out, and pushed his own hard cock in, and Jon cried out, fingers gripping instinctively into the flesh of Robb’s back as Robb’s breath panted hot and heavy against his neck. He could feel Robb’s spine and ribs, but in that moment he forgot his concern for Robb’s health, and merely clung to Robb, feeling the heat of his flesh and knowing this meant he was still alive. 

Robb was uncharacteristically rough with Jon that night, and Jon found himself whimpering, tears welling in his eyes while Robb thrust into him relentlessly. Jon reached down and stroked himself in time to Robb’s frantic movements, his cock still wet from Robb’s mouth before. The pain was exquisite but Jon strangely enjoyed it, and soon he found himself instructing Robb to go harder, as though he were berating him for being too gentle. The whole bed shook with Robb’s movements, and when Jon looked away from Robb’s body for just a moment he saw dust dancing upwards from the carpet in the light of the moon. Jon moaned Robb’s name into his ear as he met his climax, long thick streams of come falling onto his chest and stomach as his nails dug into Robb’s back. Robb was not far behind him, grunting as he pushed in as deep as he could, shuddering with his release. 

They lay under the covers afterwards, Robb indulging in his usual cigarette, arms folded as he stared out the window. Jon lay on his side, facing away from Robb, begging his mind to stop going back to the thought of Robb’s hands on the young man’s throat. Jon shivered, wishing that there wasn’t such a tense atmosphere between them, wishing he had the gall to edge his body over and share Robb’s warmth. He wondered whether he was just imagining the tension between them – maybe Robb wasn’t angry any more, but Jon could not tell. 

The rain had started again, and Jon felt a little bit of his misery ease; at least he was inside and not ankle-deep in grey sludge. His body felt incredibly aware of the temperature that had plunged dramatically as the rain had started once more. He felt as though he nearly leapt out of his skin as something cold touched his neck. It was Robb’s hand, now free of it’s cigarette, fingers brittle and cold and smelling of the remnants of tobacco.

“I’m sorry.” Robb whispered, his voice almost cracking like thin ice under a man's weight. “I just wanted to see if you’d like to get a bit warmer with me.”

Jon’s heart ached, and he wriggled backwards, instantly missing the warm spot in the bed he had made for himself, but Robb’s still-bare chest was warm and soothing. He lay still as Robb wrapped his arms around him, and muttered something into Jon’s hair that might have been sweet nothings, or might have been begging for forgiveness. The sound of the rain was heavy enough now that the cascading water’s sound swallowed Robb’s whispers. Jon felt ashamed as sobs racked his entire aching body, and hoped that Robb could not feel or hear them. 

He drifted away into a melancholy dream, and when he awoke he found the Polaroid of Robb’s surprised face, crumpled in his clenched hand.


	6. Chapter 6

Jon stretched his limbs, stiff and aching from being curled in the same position while he slept. He heard the sounds and smells of Robb cooking downstairs. He groaned, lying on his back, looking around the unfamiliar room. He thought about all the times he had woken up and heard the mundane sounds of people around him, and wrapped his arms around himself, thinking about how much he missed it all. He peeled away the sheets, hoping that the sudden cold would will his body to action. There was blood. Robb’s. He sighed, knowing that the issue was something he could not approach again, and pulled his slender frame from the bed. 

Pulling on some clothes, he descended the stairs to join Robb in the kitchen. He stood in the doorway, watching Robb pushing something around in a saucepan with a wooden spoon. Robb’s eyes did not lift from the task at hand.

“I was thinking we could go explore a bit today.” He said.

“Yeah?” Jon asked, sitting down on the stiff plastic chairs that sat around a small dining table.

“It’s been raining all night though, so it’s going to be really fucking muddy out there.” Robb replied, spooning cannellini beans into two bowls.

“I’m really sick of eating canned shit all the time.” Jon laughed, as Robb handed him a bowl and a fork.

“Yeah me too.” Robb said between mouthfuls. “I’ve been thinking about the long term, what happens when this shit runs out?”

Jon’s stomach stirred slightly at that thought. “I dunno.”

“Me either. I’ve thought about the prospects of farming, but when was the last time we saw any living animals?”

“Other than the dogs, a long time.” Jon nodded. 

They spent the rest of their meal in silence, punctuated only by the heavy panting and whimpers of the dogs.

“They’re hungry.” Jon noted. “We should see if we can find some more food for them too.”

They pulled on layers of their oldest clothes, the ones they wouldn’t mind getting dirty, and stashed away the rest of their belongings in their backpacks. The rain had momentarily ceased, but the combination of the rain and ash that coated everything left a thin, greasy grey layer wherever they tread. The originally neatly kept lawns of the suburban neighbourhood were completely obliterated, and grey dirty channels ran down all of the walls of the houses. 

They spent the better half of the afternoon moving quickly from house to house, emptying out pantries of anything that was still in a can. They managed to feed the dogs, and themselves, before continuing onward, instinctively moving in the direction of the city that lay before them. The sun started to move behind the large buildings in the distance now, and Jon wondered where they were. He did not recognise the skyline. Jon’s fingers brushed the inner pocket of his jacket, and he felt the Polaroid still there. He smiled.

Most of the houses lacked cars, or were only left with the burnt-out and stripped husks. In one car they saw the charred remains of a person, body slumping out of the driver’s seat. They kept walking.

Jon’s eyes mostly stuck to Robb’s leg, which he was putting very little weight on when he walked. He thought about the blood in the bed, but chose not to mention it. 

The neighbourhood they walked through was on the edge of what seemed to be an industrial district, based on the many towering chimneys that lay in the near-distance before them. Jon used to find the emptiness of the streets unnerving when it first happened, but now there was comfort in their isolation.

“I think we should probably navigate around the factories and things.” Jon said, as Robb panted beside him “No use going where there’s no food.”

“Yeah.” Robb agreed, his voice was strained but he attempted to hide his exhaustion. “Hey I was thinking – can we slow down a bit?”

Jon slowed his pace, casting a worried look Robb’s way. He hadn’t seen Robb taking any more antibiotics, so they must have run out, and his leg hadn’t improved enough.

“Yeah, sorry, what?” Jon asked.

“Since we saw those men yesterday, and we’re getting closer to the city, maybe we should change up our routine, start moving by night instead of by day.”  
Jon furrowed his brow in thought. Robb had a good point; they were much less visible under darkness. The only trouble was that it meant that other people would be harder to spot too.

“Yeah, I think you’re right. We should find a place to rest for tonight though, and start changing our routine tomorrow.”

They broke into a house as dusk began to fall, not dissimilar to the one they had stayed in the previous night. The house was in a much more dishevelled state, however. Jon wondered whether it had been raided, or the people living there had torn everything apart in their haste to get out of there. 

 

Robb ran the tap and nodded. “Hot water. I’m having a bath.”

Jon felt a wave of exhaustion creep through his body, and decided to flop down onto the bed as soon as he had fed the dogs, not even bothering to search the house properly. Dust and ash from the bed danced upwards. He stared at the cracked ceiling that was yellowing in the corners, probably from years of someone smoking inside the bedroom. It seemed to take all of his strength to roll over to one side, and he curled up again, feeling cold and miserable. He listened to Robb several rooms away, singing some old tune to himself as he bathed. Jon wondered what Robb’s wound looked like, and shuddered at the thought of it growing more infected and bloated. He admired the grace in which Robb took the wound though, seemingly unaffected by it at all. At least mentally.

Jon drifted into a somewhat dreamlike state, but was brought back to reality when Robb sat down on the bed beside him, his nakedness covered by a plush towel, and his leg bandaged up with fresh gauze. Jon felt fingers through his matted dark hair.

“Tired already?” Robb asked. “You seem to be tired an awful lot lately.”

“Better than insomnia.” Jon yawned, reaching an arm out over Robb’s thighs. His flesh was still slightly wet from his bath, but his skin felt warm and alive.   
“At least get under the covers with me then, come on let’s go.” Robb laughed, pulling Jon’s arm. Jon willed his body to his feet, and watched as Robb climbed into bed, throwing his damp towel to the floor. Jon wearily pulled off his clothes, slightly covered in the muck from their day’s travels, and joined Robb in the bed, his tired body instantly soothed again by the warmth of another’s body and the soft mattress. 

Jon’s body was tired but it still responded to Robb’s touch as Robb slid his body over and started rubbing his fingers along Jon’s spine. He murmured how tired he was in Robb’s ear softly, but reciprocated running his own hands across Robb’s chest and down his side sleepily.

“I’m really sorry.” Robb whispered. “About last night.” He kissed Jon tenderly on the forehead. Jon made a soft noise that even he couldn’t distinguish exactly what it was, and nuzzled his head against Robb’s chest. 

“I was really rough on you, and didn’t make sure you were ok.” Robb continued, gently guiding Jon’s face upwards to plant a kiss on his lips. Jon’s cock was already rock hard, and he pushed his groin up against Robb’s thigh, if just to get a little relief with the friction. 

“I want to make it up to you.” Rob sighed, between the soft kisses he planted on Jon’s open lips. “I didn’t want to fight with you either, I guess things are always just going to be tense these days. But right now I just want to be with you.”

Jon let Robb’s passionate kisses rain down upon him, and he weakly kissed back, as though his body was still wrapped in the idea of sleep enough to not let him sufficiently move. Robb’s fingers ran down again, making Jon’s skin prickle under the sensation. Jon grasped a hand on the back of Robb’s head, tangling his fingers in the tangled auburn mess of hair. 

“Fuck me.” Jon whispered softly in Robb’s ear before nipping at the lobe, as he pushed his body against Robb’s and felt Robb hard against his stomach. The fingers on his free hand circled a hard nipple. 

“I found lube here. Can you believe it?” Robb laughed, his breath hot on Jon’s face. Jon smiled and continued to kiss at Robb’s throat as he hung his body off the bed, searching through his bag. Jon teasingly ran his hands up and down Robb’s stomach as he watched Robb rub the clear gel up and down his cock until it was completely slick. 

Jon guided Robb inside him, incredibly slowly. He did not care to wait any longer. They kissed slowly and passionately, in a way that they seldom had before. Jon moaned softly, feeling himself stretch over each inch as he clawed at Robb’s back. He felt a small burn of pain, but not enough for him to want Robb to stop, so he said nothing, and planted little kisses along Robb’s collarbone. He panted, pressing his forehead against Robb’s as he let Robb finally push entirely inside him. 

“Soft and slow.” Robb said. Jon wasn’t sure whether that was a request or an order, but he nodded all the same. Robb rolled his hips and lay on top of Jon, his throbbing cock pressed between them, and they kissed again as Robb started to rock his hips gently. Jon had never felt Robb so gentle and loving with him before, and he felt himself blushing for reasons he couldn’t quite pinpoint to himself. Usually their fucking was frantic and urgent, but now it was slow and sensual, and Jon enjoyed the way it complimented his sleepy mind and half-lidded eyes. 

Robb’s hand, still wet with lubricant, snaked between them and found Jon’s cock and began to massage it. Jon moaned, louder than he expected to, and tried to buck his hips up under Robb’s weight. 

They spent what felt like an eternity together, occasionally shifting their positions when they grew tired of them, all the time kissing and caressing one another sleepily. Robb finished inside him, and it forced shivers down Jon’s spine when he heard Robb panting his name. Jon sleepily stroked himself to completion afterwards, and fell asleep while his come was still wet on the sheets. 

When Jon woke Robb was unusually still beside him, curled up against him, breathing heavily. He planted a kiss on Robb’s forehead, then got up and decided to bathe. The warmth of the water was soothing on his fatigued body, and he sunk into the tub with a sigh. He sat there and dreamed of the life he once led, until Robb appeared at the door, mostly naked save for his underwear and bandaged leg, cigarette in hand as he leaned on the doorway. The bandage was stained, and Jon felt his stomach turn again in unease. Robb pulled a chair up beside the bath as they conversed, but he did not get in. Jon supposed it was because he did not want Jon to see the extent of the wound. 

“My dick’s still sore from last night.” Robb laughed as he but out the cigarette on the floor. 

“Imagine if you did that back at home, dad would have absolutely killed you.” Jon laughed, feeling a sudden pang of sadness through his body at the thought of their father. 

Robb handed Jon a towel as he got out of the bath. Robb washed and hung up the clothes that they had previously gotten covered in mud the day before while Jon descended the stairs feed the dogs and start cooking for themselves. They maintained their plan to leave at nightfall, and by mid-afternoon Jon was feeling enough fatigue again to sleep until they needed to leave once more. Robb made a point in telling Jon he was not at all tired, but joined Jon in the bed nonetheless. 

Jon awoke to the sound of crashing downstairs and voices of men and women.

“There were people here, recently. Scour the place, now.” A voice commanded, and Jon’s heart filled with dread as he heard the heavy plodding of boots up the stairs. He grasped for the knife he put at the bedside as Robb moved swiftly to his feet and against the wall, peering down the hallway. The point of the knife trembled in front of him.

“We have automatic weapons.” A woman’s voice announced, cold and determined. “I know there’s at least one of you in the bedroom, probably two. Come out, hands up now and I might not kill you.”

Jon felt as though he were going to retch. Robb dropped his own knife and walked from the door his hands folded behind his head.

“Fuck.” Jon hissed to himself. “Robb, why?”

Robb’s voice was loud and clear. “It’s just two of us, we don’t have guns. We’re just staying here a moment, we were going to move on by nightfall.”

“Have your friend come out here, and no bullshit or I’ll blow your fucking brains out.”

Jon’s body shook as he walked into the hallway behind Robb, mimicking his pose. “See, no weapons.”

“Up here.” The woman yelled to someone downstairs, she was petite and fair but had a fiery strength to her in the way she stood, her weapon pointed at Robb. “Move a muscle and I’ll put lead right through those pretty faces of yours.”

Jon felt as though he were going to faint as he saw a man ascend the stairs and stand behind the young woman. The expression on the man’s own face seemed to drop from smug confidence to utter disbelief in a fraction of a moment. Robb glanced back at Jon, but Jon could not peel his eyes away from the familiar-seeming face before him.

“Lower your weapon.” The man said waving an arm. Jon felt as though he might burst into tears, but through joy or sadness or grief he couldn’t say.

“I can’t believe this.” Theon said, grinning wide enough to show off a missing tooth. Jon felt his knees buckle beneath him, and his lips trembled, unable to form any meaningful words.


	7. Chapter 7

Jon sat in the back of a truck hurtling through the deserted suburban streets at an alarming place. The girl who was with Theon was conversing with a man Jon wasn’t introduced to, seemingly barely paying attention to the road as she violently swerved the car around corners. Jon felt as though he could vomit at any moment, his body feeling so poorly used to motion. Robb lay sleeping with his head on Jon’s stomach seemingly unaffected by it all. Theon sat in the back of the truck; his keen eyes pinned on Jon, leaning on the barrel of his machine gun, grinning like an idiot. A sullen-looking man with a large frame and dark eyes sat next to Theon, watching but never moving. The dogs lay across Robb’s legs, great shaggy hides heaving with each heavy breath. 

As the road levelled out and the turns became less frequent, Jon studied Theon’s face properly for the first time. The raggedness of his appearance reminded Jon of his own when he looked in the mirror while he was shaving. There were more lines on his face, and he seemed harder, but he still maintained his youthful handsomeness. 

The sky stared down at Jon like a dark hollow eye. He shivered as the wind raced around him, trying to hunch his body down out of the wind without waking Robb. He had done all the talking for both of them, explaining to Theon what had happened to them, while Jon remained stoic and silent. Theon coaxed them into the truck with promises of fires and warm food, and that he would tell them his story there. Jon felt his stomach turn again, wondering where Theon was taking them, and why. They approached some great brick fences and a slightly rusted iron gate. The gravel crunched wet beneath the wheels of the truck as it slowed to a stop at the gate, it’s great headlights casting light that punched through the darkness. Theon jumped down off the truck, gun in arm, and used the butt of it to prod Jon’s side. 

“Come on we’re here.” He said. Jon gently nudged Robb awake, and they climbed out of the back of the truck together, Jon first so that he could help Robb ease down without putting too much weight on his leg. 

“Get the other shit we found out of there.” Theon called to the sullen-looking man. “I’m looking after my guests this evening. Don’t disturb us unless it’s completely necessary.”

“Sure.” The man said dismissively, already turned to his task. 

“I bet you two are tired, let’s go – I’ll see if we can’t get some food for you either.” Theon said, leading the way through the gates that were opened by a man inside. There was a large expanse that might have been a grassy field once, and a straight concrete path that lead up to a great brick building. The dogs followed them like ghostly apparitions. 

“Where are we exactly?” Robb asked, rubbing his eyes like a sleepy child.

“It’s some old military fort, abandoned when it all went to shit obviously, but we found it one day and decided to make it our base of operations.”

“We?” Jon asked, as Robb turned and threw him a strange look that he could not interpret. 

Theon laughed as he opened the big wooden doors to the fort, and the smells of cooking and warmth of humanity flowed from within. “Long story. Let’s get you guys set up in my room first, then we’ll talk about all that shit.”

Robb nodded, trudging heavily on the steps behind Theon, and Jon could see his leg was paining him a lot. They made their way through a maze of concrete and iron, crossing countless hallways and up many flights of stairs. Occasionally Jon would walk past a room with a door open or slightly ajar, and see that there were many occupied rooms. A man smoking staring out the window in one, a pair of giggling young girls who shut the door as he passed another. 

Even the vast halls, though obviously relatively well kept, were still covered in dust. Jon had to laugh to himself. The ash and grit was always going to be there. 

“Here.” Theon gestured with a comical level of gravitas. Jon and Robb entered the chamber.

“Are you a fucking captain or what?” Robb laughed. The chamber seemed to be significantly larger than any of the others they’d seen on their trip up there.

There were large piles of books stacked against the wall, and a desk against the great curved window. The dogs ran inside, making themselves instantly comfortable curled on a rug that lay in the middle of the room.

“Something like that.” Theon laughed, kicking off his boots. “I figured we’d be up late so I’ll see if we can get a couple of beds in here for you two. Want some scotch?”

“Sure.” Robb said, while Jon shook his head. Robb glanced over to him. “Probably could use food first or we’ll both fall straight asleep.” Jon said.

“Do you have a fucking fireplace?” Robb laughed, peering around the side of Theon’s bed. Jon leaned to get a better view.

“Yeah, wanna light it?” Theon asked. “It’s definitely one of the perks of the room, that’s for sure.”

“Why not.” Robb shrugged, as he sat down on he floor, with his legs crossed. Jon followed suit, but felt as though he collapsed in a heap of tangled limbs. There was a soft knock at the door, and Theon flung it open.

“Hey I heard you had a couple of new guys in here, do you need me to organise food for you?” The woman said. She had long dark hair and heavy-lidded eyes.  
“Uh, yeah, that would be great. Three of us, thanks.” Theon said, his demeanour suddenly more bashful than Jon had ever seen it. Robb was grinning to himself, and Jon knew they were thinking the same thing.

“That was cute.” Robb said.

“Whatever.” Theon rolled his eyes. “So what the fuck have you two been doing? Surely you’ve got more interesting stories to tell.”

Jon stared down at his hands. He thought about how he fucked Robb every night. How they were held at gunpoint more than once. How Robb killed a man with his bare hands in cold blood.

“Not really.” Robb shrugged. “You know, just surviving, us and the dogs. No one else around, not when we can help it, anyway.”

Theon lit a cigarette. “Yeah, the usual. How fucked is that? It’s a usual way to conduct our lives these days. Smoke?” 

Jon shook his head but Robb reached over and took one for himself. Once this cigarette was lit, Theon crouched down at the fireplace and started fiddling with matches and scrunched paper. Soon a fire was lit, and Jon felt its heat warm him to his soul. There was a soft knock at the door again, the same girl, this time bearing bowls of soup for the three of them, which she handed directly to each of them. The bowl was too hot for Jon’s hands, but he thanked her anyway. She turned to Theon.

“There will be two more cots brought up soon.” She said, and Theon smiled back at her like a fool.

“Thank you.” He said, and she turned and closed the door shut behind her.

“Do you have maids? What the fuck is this?” Robb asked.

“She’s not a maid – she’s – look everyone here does something to pull their weight.” Theon said, exasperated as he clutched the hot bowl in both hands. “Not everyone is suited for scavenging or protection, right?”

“Someone’s touchy about wanting to fuck the maid.” Jon muttered, and Robb laughed.

“Joking aside Theon, what the fuck is this place? How did you get here?”

Theon flicked the butt of his cigarette into the fire and started spooning his soup, the steam rising up into his face. “So that night when I went to get water, those guys tracked us, right?”

Jon felt as though a black hole was sucking in his stomach. He wanted to cry, even though Theon was in front of him and well, as he dreaded the words he might hear next. Robb rested his own bowl between his feet, leaning forward with his elbows resting on his knees as he listened. 

“They chased you down for a bit, but not for long, and they came back to me. Roughed me up, a lot.” Theon said, gesturing towards a missing tooth. Jon nodded but said nothing.

“I thought they were going to kill me, but basically they pressed me for information, thinking we were part of a bigger group they could raid. It was all guys there, all pretty young too. Total sausage fest.” Theon said, laughing as he poured himself a glass of whiskey. “They took me back to their base camp, ages away. There was a lot of in-fighting there, but they had a leader who was a fucking psycho, and basically it all came down in the end to what he thought on any decision.”

“Were you their prisoner, or did they treat you like one of their own?” Robb asked, interrupting Theon’s train of thought.

“Uh… well it was complicated. I had to do a lot of shit that I didn’t want to for them. I got the leftovers and scraps if I was lucky, but I wasn’t held at gunpoint all the time either.” Theon said, running slender fingers through his mop of black hair. 

“What kind of shit?” Robb asked as he sipped at his soup. Jon smiled to himself, knowing that Robb would always ask the questions he wanted to but didn’t have the gall to himself. 

“You know, taking people’s stuff, leaving them for dead on the highway. Getting fucked in the ass. The kind of shit I never wish I had to do, but what choice did I have? The leader of these guys seemed to take a shining to me, and I didn’t want to make him angry. The first time I saw a guy piss him off he slit his throat in front of everyone, and just left his body there. I don’t even remember what the guy did.”

Jon felt another wave of guilt, and sadness. He couldn’t understand how Theon could be so blasé about being forced to do terrible things, but he kept his mouth shut, and pressed his knees to his chest. 

“So anyway I’m with those guys for a bit.” Theon said, lighting up another cigarette, always the chain-smoker. The door creaked open and he snapped his head to the doorway, where two men with sleeping cots stood. He waved dismissively. “Just put them down I’ll set them up later.”

The men nodded and silently put down the folding cots and blankets in a small stack by the door before they left. Theon turned back to Robb and Jon.

“Where was I?” Theon asked, scratching at irritating new, almost-transparent length of stubble poking through his skin.

“You were with those guys for a bit…” Robb prompted, his lips contorting in an odd shape as he spoke with a new cigarette between his lips. He offered one to Jon, but Jon declined. He had enough ash and pollution in his lungs already.

“Yeah basically we just roamed the countryside, fucking up other people’s lives and taking what they had. We were all armed to the teeth, but one night I woke up and the guy standing watch had been killed, and we were surrounded by a bunch of people.

“These people, they knew what kind of scum we were, and they started shooting anyone who tried to fight, execution style. So I was out of the frying pan and into the fire, as it were.”

“Fuck.” Robb said. 

“Yeah I said fuck a lot too. But these people saw that I was in a bad state and not fighting, so they pulled me aside and grilled me for information about myself, and I was so convinced I’d die anyway I just told them everything.”

“And these were the people here, right?” Jon asked, his voice felt strange and unused for too long.

“Yeah. I went with them when they offered, because hey, it was probably going to be at least as shitty of a life with them, and most of my former captors were dead anyway. They hauled me in the back of the truck and brought me here.”

Theon stood up, and started to set up the beds. “You’re both looking tired, so I might set these up now, then you can just fall asleep in them whenever.”  
Robb rose to his feet, his sore leg trembling under his weight. “Here, let me help.”

Theon’s gaze instantly snapped down to his leg. “You hurt?”

“Not really.” Robb shrugged.

“Fucking hell Robb!” Jon yelled, louder than he intended to. “He was injured all the way back when we lost you. He thinks its nothing but it’s clearly not.”  
Robb shoved Jon roughly with both hands, nearly sending him off his balance.

“Ok kids, calm the fuck down.” Theon said, moving his body between them. “We’ve got an infirmary here, so we’ll take you down there tomorrow and get a doctor’s opinion on what’s going on there. No more fighting, as much as I like to watch two idiots beat the shit out of each other I won’t have it in my room, thanks.” Theon walked off and started dealing with the beds again, and Jon stared at Robb until he felt as though he had to look away. 

“Have a drink and chill the fuck out for once, Jon.” Theon said, handing Jon a glass. Jon hadn’t had alcohol for some time, as he was scared of having his senses dulled these days, but he allowed himself to indulge. The alcohol burned slightly as it went down, but its warmth was soothing. Soon the heat of his annoyance with Robb ebbed away, and the three of them sat on Theon’s bed, sharing drinks and talking again. Robb even lay with his hand draped over Jon’s knee, but if Theon noticed it he said nothing.

“So how did you end up with this fancy pad?” Robb laughed, his cheeks slightly pink from the alcohol already.

“I just proved myself valuable to the team and they put me up here, that’s all.” Theon said swirling the amber liquid in his glass. Jon stood up, and it suddenly dawned on him how quickly he had become inebriated. 

“Bathroom?” Jon asked, feeling his head sway a little.

It’s the door on the right, next to the stairs.” Theon said. Jon left and walked down the cold corridor, past a young woman that smiled shyly at him and into the bathroom. When he returned Robb and Theon quickly hushed their conversation, and Jon could feel that there was tension between them. Robb made his best attempt to appear nonchalant, patting the bed, gesturing for Jon to come and sit again. 

They talked late into the night, until a very tired and drunk Robb needed to be helped into bed, falling asleep almost as soon as Jon drew the covers over him.   
Theon laughed. “You’re both such lightweights these days.”

“Yeah, we haven’t drunk at all really. Haven’t lived anywhere secure enough that we feel ok with just passing out somewhere.” Jon replied, lowering his voice to a whisper as he sat next to Theon on the bed again.

“So… You two.” Theon said, his voice dancing a little with laughter. “How did that happen?”

“How did what happen?” Jon asked, his stomach burning with anxiety, trying to play dumb. 

“Oh don’t be so coy, Jon, I know what’s going on between you, it’s clear as day. Robb confirmed it for me. Man he’s drunk.”

Jon felt shame burn through his whole body, and he carried it on his face.

“Hey look, it’s pretty weird for me and all but the world ended so I guess you two fucking each other isn’t the worst thing in the world these days.” Theon said.   
Jon put his head in his hands, not knowing what to say. 

“Did you ever tell him about us?” Theon asked.

“No.” Jon replied curtly, thinking back to a drunken night of fucking in the back seat of Theon’s car, what could have been years ago now.

“Probably for the best then.” Theon yawned. “Let’s keep it in the past, it would just hurt Robb. The situation is weird enough as it is.”

Jon nodded; he never thought his life would be so strange as it was now. He thought Theon must be pretty confused at the idea that his best friend was now fucking his half-brother and Theon’s ex-lover. Jon bit at a frayed edge of a nail nervously.

“So, what are Robb and I going to do here, exactly?” He said, changing the subject.

“Well we’re pretty democratic here, generally with anyone new we see what they’re probably most useful for and vote on it. We vote on everything, and it’s worked out pretty well. We’ll talk about it more properly tomorrow though, for now we should probably get some rest.”

“Yeah.” Jon said, head spinning again as he stumbled to his feet. The fire was burning very low and the room was very dim, but Jon managed to make his way to his cold, lonely single bed and crawl into it. He glanced over to Robb who was still fast asleep, and wished that he could lie next to him and feel his warmth. 

Soon alcohol and exhaustion took over, and for the first time in a long while Jon slipped into a dreamless sleep. 

Jon woke up being shook by Robb’s hand.

“Hey.” Jon muttered sleepily. Robb bent down to kiss him swiftly.

“Theon said he’s helping guard at the moment, said to come down whenever we want to.” Robb said as he sat on the cot next to Jon. 

“I’ll go with you to the infirmary if you want.” Jon said.

“Already been. They cleaned the wound and that was it.” Robb shrugged. “I’m so hung over right now.”

“Yeah I am a bit myself.” Jon said rubbing his head. 

“Before we go see Theon I want to ask you what you think of this place.” Robb said with an unusual level of urgency in his voice.

“What do you mean exactly?” 

“I mean, there’s something about this place that feels… off to me. You know?”

Jon sat up, realising he was still completely dressed from the night before. He started to lace up his boots. “I know what you mean, and I kind of feel that way too. I think it might just be paranoia though.”

“Yeah, maybe…” Robb said, but Jon could see in his eyes that he did not completely believe it.

Jon stood up, and Robb wrapped his arms around him, pushing his head against his chest. “I fed the dogs and let them go for a run, come on, let’s go find Theon.”

Jon gave him a squeeze with one arm before they left the room, shutting the door behind them. They descended the many flights of stairs and got lost several times in the building just trying to get back out to the yard, but they managed to navigate their way to Theon eventually. He was sitting on top of the great brick wall, talking to a short stocky man and laughing. When he saw Jon and Robb, he slung the hunting rifle in his arms over one shoulder, and quickly descended the stairs two at a time to meet them.

“Hey, I’m done with guard duty now so we can hang out. Look at what we can get for you two to do. I’ll call a meeting.”

Robb shot Jon a strange look. “Meeting?”

“Yeah, I was saying to Jon last night, we are very democratic here. All decisions are made by a group of us together.”

“Oh.” Robb said, scuffing his feet in the earth, now dry again. 

“It’ll be fine, they just want to get a good look at you both basically. See what you’d be fit for.”

“Right.” Jon said, looking over at Robb. He had a suspicion that perhaps Robb was right.

They crossed back towards the building. The yard was deserted as his had been the night before, other than a small group loading up the same truck they had came in on the previous day.

“What are they doing?” Jon asked, gesturing over to them.

“Going on a raid to get some more good stuff. It’s probably what you’ll do Jon, if you can fire a gun well enough.”

“Raid?” Robb asked, furrowing his brows.

“Don’t worry about it, you’ll get a hang of the way things are done around here. Come on.” Theon said, a smile still plastered on his face as they followed him into the building. He gestured to an empty room on the ground floor, everything covered in dust, filled with a few rusted metal chairs and a large table. 

They took a seat and waited, as the room slowly filled up with faces unfamiliar to them. Jon found himself coughing nervously as he felt what felt like a million eyes watching him, shifting in his chair. A woman started to address the crowd, informing them of when and how Jon and Robb had been found, and it was in that moment that Jon decided they needed to get out of there as soon as they could.


	8. Chapter 8

The meeting had left Jon in a dreamlike state. Never in his adult life had he felt so much like a child, the way that the people talked over his head as though he weren’t there to hear it. The people hadn’t even bothered to address him by name or give him theirs, and the whole experience was extremely alienating. Jon could not get his mind off of a moment, when the short, feisty woman who had been with Theon when they were found turned to Robb and asked him about his infected leg. Robb as usual defended himself, claiming that he was perfectly able as Jon was. 

“He’s lying, the doctor said that the infection from the wound might’ve spread to the bloodstream.” A man chimed in. “He’s lucky to have made it this far without treatment. He’s not going to be any use until he’s treated.” 

Jon stared at Robb, but Robb just had a pained look on his face and did not return the glance. The people had decided that Jon would be fit for a scavenging team, but would not be trusted with any high-powered weapons.

“So where did you get those anyway?” Jon asked, as he sat by Robb’s bedside, a slowly cooling coffee cupped in both hands. “The weapons I mean.”

“I’m not a hundred percent sure exactly.” Theon said, leaning in the doorway. “Most of that stuff they already had by the time I got here. I think some of the guys here are ex-military, that’s probably where they got them.”

Jon sipped his coffee, just for something to do, even though it scalded his tongue. Robb rolled restlessly in his bad, an IV drip in his arm. “I want to get the fuck out of here.” He grumbled.

“I know.” Jon said, reassuringly. “They said you’d probably only need to stay in treatment for a few days though, and I’ll stay with you anyway.”

“We’re probably going to need you Jon, sorry.” Theon said. “I’ll bring down some books and stuff so you won’t get too bored.” He added to Robb, before he left the room.

Jon’s hands shook with rage; he wanted to fling the coffee in Theon’s face. He didn’t want to leave Robb alone, if something happened… No, he could not afford to think that way. Robb’s fingertips gingerly brushed Jon’s arm.

“I’ll be ok.” He whispered. “I’m sure Theon’s trashy novels will keep me company while you’re gone.”

Jon was soon chased from the infirmary and forced onto a truck with many others who seemingly ignored him. Jon had been given back his hunting knife, but was given no other weapons. The trucked rolled out of the iron gates at nightfall. The wind was fierce enough that at times Jon had to grip onto the side of the truck in fear of being blown away. He fought to keep his bandanna tied around his face, keeping out the ash and pollution. He did not lift his head to see what the others were doing; he didn’t care. All he thought of was Robb. 

Theon inched over to Robb, rifle in hand.

“Hey, so I thought I’d let you know what we’re heading into.”

“That would be nice.” Jon said sarcastically.

“So on a scouting trip we saw a bunch of people camped out inside an old high school, pretty close nearby. Went in to say hello, and so fourth, got ourselves a little bit of trouble with the assholes there so we left. We’re going back to see if they’ve gone and left anything useful behind.”

“So I’m going into a dangerous situation without a gun, while all of you have one?” Jon said, shaking his head in disbelief. “What the fuck is this, Theon?”

“You’ll stay here, wait in the truck and keep it ready to start in case shit goes down. We’ll get you to come in if we need help loading shit up.”

“’In case shit goes down’? Really?” Jon replied, starting to feel panic rise up within him, swallowing hard.

“I don’t expect it to, don’t worry.” Theon said, placing a hand on Jon’s shoulder. “You just always have to be careful.”

Jon tucked his knees to his chest and focused on his breathing, trying to stay focused on each lungful of air to chase away his anxiety, but his breathing felt hindered by the cloth that covered his face.

The truck pulled outside a school, and the driver got out. 

“Ok, Jon we’re going in, you jump in the driver’s seat, we’ll get you if we need you, as I said.”

Jon nodded, watching as the others left. Theon walked in the middle, his strides long and confident in his typical cocky swagger as he shouldered his rifle off his shoulder and into a hand. He was followed by the girl that was with Theon when they were found, a burly man with hairy arms and another man who was as quiet as Jon was. As they got close to the building, they fanned out and moved around the school, fingers on the triggers of their various guns, and vanished out of sight in the darkness. Jon adjusted the rear-view mirror, and saw the sweat beading on his brow, fighting every instinct not to flee. He sat alone for what felt like hours, ears searching for any sounds they could, but little could be heard over the wind.

The flash of a gun muzzle was visible in his peripheral vision, but only for a moment. Jon felt as though he were going to vomit, and his hand gripped the steering wheel tighter, the other trembling but ready to turn the ignition in an instant if he had to. Over the next few minutes nothing happened. He realised he was gritting his teeth so hard that his jaw muscles ached. Suddenly, as though an apparition, Theon came out of the darkness alone. Jon rolled down the window.

“We hit the jackpot, come on, we’ll need your help inside.”

Jon swallowed and nodded, trying to hide the fact that his whole body was shaking as he stepped out of the truck. He kept a distance by Theon as he followed him down across what once was an oval, down to the steps of a building. There was a pool of blood at the entranceway, with streaks coming from it, suggesting whoever had been shot there had been dragged somewhere else. 

“One of them, not us.” Theon said in a reassuring tone that made Jon feel uneasy.

Jon stepped over the blood and continued to follow Theon, his heart in his throat.

In the main lobby of the school there appeared to be the living setup of a number of people, but Jon could not tell exactly how many as Theon’s comerades had already started stripping it apart, throwing things they didn’t want or need aside. 

“Ok we just need you to start helping us load the useful shit into the back of the truck.” Theon said.

Jon swallowed, trying to soothe his dry throat. “Where are the people who were here?”

“Don’t worry about them, Asha’s got an eye on them in the other room.” Theon replied, kicking away an empty tin with disgust.

“Where? What’s going to happen to them?” Jon asked, trying to keep pace with Theon as he quickly strode down the length of the large hall.

“They’ll be fine, we need to see whether they’d like to come with us is all. Look, we’ll talk about it later, ok? We just need to get the truck loaded for now.”

Jon busied himself, under the pretence that he had no more questions or doubts, but he felt a deep sorrow running through him. What had he just been a part of? When Theon was occupied for a moment, Jon slipped out of the room in search of Asha and the other people. 

It felt odd for Jon to be in a high school again, even stranger as it was completely deserted. It had seemed an eternity ago that he was looking at a board, hunched over a small desk with obscenities carved into it. He quickly moved from room to room, making as little noise as possible. He heard a woman talking quietly, and another sobbing. Jon felt a lump in his throat as the sound got louder.

Peering into the next room, he saw Asha, sitting on the teacher’s desk, facing away from the door and into the classroom. Beyond her were eight people, all sitting on the floor, two of which were small children that clutched to their mother. Another young woman weeped in a man’s arms as he held her tight, another older man staring at the floor as if he had nothing better to do. One of the other men glanced up at Jon, but said nothing. Asha was poised on the edge of the desk, ready to strike like a snake. Jon retreated back to the main hall before he could be seen, feeling both disgust in himself and rage towards Theon. These people were clearly not dangerous or looking to hurt others. Jon clenched his fist so hard he thought he could feel blood running down his palms, but when he looked down he realised that he was just imagining it. 

Back in the main room, Jon helped take bundles of the people’s belongings and food to the truck, loading it up with as much as he could carry at a time. He felt as though he were going to vomit every time he stooped to pick something up, and each time he dropped down off the truck in a small cloud of dust, he considered running and never looking back. 

Once anything deemed worthy by Theon and the others was loaded into the back of the truck, Theon went to join Asha, and after a heated discussion between them, they lead out the group of people who eyed Jon nervously as they went past.

“You’re making the right choice coming with us.” Asha said, still wielding her weapon as she walked behind them. “We’ve got food, fresh water, gas, rooms, beds… pretty much everything you need.”

On the back of the rumbling truck Jon watched the reactions of the people. Theon had avoided Jon’s gaze since their last words, and was now riding shotgun in the truck. The wind was even wilder now, and the dust was so thick in the air that Jon could no longer see the moon. He wanted to cry, but could feel that there were eyes on him and thought better of it, so he sighed and tucked his head away from the wind, closing his eyes in an attempt to shut out the world around him, not opening them again until he heard the crunch of gravel as the truck pulled back to the familiar rusted iron gates. 

Theon ignored Jon’s attempts to gain his attention, so he stormed off back up the hill towards the infirmary to check on Robb. Robb was sleeping when Jon got there, and his heart sunk a little in disappointment. He sat down on the chair next to the bed, and watched Robb’s chest rise and fall with each breath. Jon wondered what he would say to Robb when he woke up. He wondered what Theon was going to say to try and convince him that they were the good ones that night, doing the right thing for everyone. Jon’s stomach ached with anxiety, and he curled into a tight ball on the chair, head resting on the corner of the pillow next to Robb’s head. 

He was kicked awake by Theon’s boot.

“What gives?” Theon asked, arms folded ad he loomed over Jon’s curled body. “You just disappeared, we needed your help, you know.”

“You didn’t seem to need my help, and I needed to go make sure Robb was ok.” Jon muttered, sensing a small amount of movement beside him as Robb turned his newly woken body to face him. 

“Look, just next time wait and ask if you can leave first, ok? How are you doin’ Robb?”

Robb’s eyes turned to Theon. “I’m feeling alright, I really want to not be here anymore.”

“Well…” Theon said, scratching his chin. “I’m sure you can go upstairs, I got a room set up for you two, you can just take the IV with you. There’s new people brought in who might need to stay in here anyway.”

“New people?”

“Yeah we found them while we were out, I’m sure Jon will fill you in.” He yawned and stretched his spine upwards, cracking it. “I’m going to my room now, you two should have everything you need in the room upstairs. Floor below mine, third on the right. I put those great stinking dogs in there so you’ll find it.”

“All right, thanks.” Robb said, saluting Theon with his middle finger. Theon merely rolled his eyes and left the room with his usual swagger. 

Robb sat up in the bed. “Can you help me carry my stuff upstairs? I’ll leave Theon’s pulp novels for the next poor soul who has to stay here.”

Jon nodded, scooping up Robb’s jacket and boots in his arms while Robb took a hold of the IV stand and rolled it alongside him, walking barefoot on the cold concrete floor. They said nothing as they slowly made their way up many flights of stairs to the room that had been set up for them. It was much colder and dishevelled than Theon’s room. The dogs were both there, wagging their tails lazily as they entered the room; their great paws grey with ash. 

Robb sagged down onto the bed, steadying himself with the hand not clutching the IV. “So, what did you do with those guys today?”

Jon sighed, throwing his coat down onto the floor, sending up a cloud of dust motes. “It was kind of fucked.”

Robb let out a sad sigh, and sunk down further onto the bed. “What happened?”

“Ok so you know before how Theon said there were new people?”

“Sure.”

“Well we found them out there. We took them from their fucking home.” Jon said, running his slender fingers through his black, knotted hair in frustration. Robb had a pained expression on his face. “What happened exactly?”

“I was just to basically wait in the truck, keep it ready in case they had to make a quick getaway. They said they’d scoped out the place before, told me that they encountered some shady people there. I ended up being called inside to pack up their shit, but seriously there was only a small group there including a couple of kids.” Jon’s mind suddenly envisioned the pool of blood on the floor. “We – they killed at least one person, never saw the body though, just the blood.”

Robb sat up a little. “I knew there was something wrong about this place. You ok?”

“I’m fucking angry Robb.” Jon said, spitting a little. “I want to get the fuck out of here. They brought the people with us, they were so scared, and who knows what the fuck is going to happen to them?”

Robb hopped from the bed, striding over to Jon quicker than Jon had ever seen him move since his injury. He wrapped his arms around Jon and kissed his cheek. “Let’s leave.”

Robb pulled the drip from his vein and pulled on more layers of clothing. Jon did not ask him how his leg was, but he could see Robb was already moving more confidently on it under the influence of painkillers and antibiotics.

The building was eerily silent as they crept up the stairs to Theon’s room. Jon had no way to tell the time but he suspected that it was incredibly early in the morning. Robb rapped his knuckles on the door loudly. They heard some familiar cursing inside and the door opened just a crack. Through the sliver between door and frame Jon could see that Theon was naked.

“WHAT?” He groaned loudly. 

“Theon, we need to talk, now.” Robb said, his annoyance clear in his voice.

“Fuck off.” Theon said groggily, closing the door. Jon threw his weight against the door, making Robb flinch back in shock.

“OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR NOW!”

Jon felt the words come out but he wasn’t even sure he was the one doing the yelling. The door opened again, Theon now wearing a pair of pants. 

“Fuckers. Come on.” He mumbled, opening up the door. “Be quiet though she’s sleeping in here.”

Jon groaned and filed in behind Robb.

“What is this about?” Theon asked, scratching his nails through his hair. There was a figure lying on the bed, curled in the blankets. Jon wondered whether she would be pretending to sleep and listening in, but he did not care any more.

“What we did tonight Theon, it was fucked. I’m not having a part of it anymore.” Jon said. 

“We’re going to leave, Theon.” Robb said. Jon could see the heartbreak written across his face. Once he and Theon were close friends, now they seemed worlds apart. Theon shot a cold stare his way.

“Why?”

“I told you why, the shit that you guys do here, it’s not right.” Jon said, feeling his face flush with anger. “We just took those people away, gave them no choice.”   
Theon’s face twisted in anger. “You’re that fucking stupid, Snow? We’re giving them sanctuary, food, everything they need. Those people would die without our help.”

“You give them no choice.” Jon said, starting to quiver now with anger. 

“Theon, I know you have good intentions but Jon and I want no part in this.” Robb whispered. “We’re going, and that’s that.”

Theon, frustrated, turned to Jon and pushed him aggressively. “You’re going to be responsible for Robb’s death if you leave. His blood, your hands, Jon.”

Jon threw a punch at Theon, who ducked under it and retaliated with a quick blow to Jon’s ribs, winding him. Robb was between them before the fight got worse.

“What are you talking about?” Jon panted. Theon took a step back, blood pooling from one nostril. Robb must have hit him getting between them. 

“Look Jon, I don’t want this to happen, but if you leave… they’re going to come after you two.”

Robb’s face dropped. “What, why?”

Theon clenched his jaw. “Look, I don’t want this to be the way it is… but the others… they’re not going to be happy that you just came in, took food and precious medical supplies and left.”

Jon’s heart pounded harder. Robb remained silent but Jon could feel his body trembling.

“I – I can’t stop them. And I can’t come with you.” Theon whispered. “I’m sorry. If you’re going to go, do it now. I won’t stop you, but I can’t stop them either.”

The silence was deafening. Robb stepped forward, and gave Theon a strong hug. Jon and Theon merely exchanged glances as Theon whispered something into Robb’s hair. They left the room and Jon ran up the stairs, to fetch the dogs. Jon could hear Robb’s breath heavy beside him as they jogged their way back towards the broad iron gates, ascending the steps there. There was a guard on duty, but he payed little attention to them as they ran along the top of the wall. The adrenaline pounding through Jon’s system made his jump down from the wall easier than expected, and Robb slid down, grazing his hands slightly on the rough brick. The dogs leapt down after him, silently watching them with their dark eyes.

They ran as fast as Robb’s injury would allow, between the burnt out and broken trees. The night air was thick with ash that filled their lungs. Jon did not know where they were going, just wanting to be anywhere but there.


	9. Chapter 9

Jon was past the point of exhaustion, and trudged onwards, his body feeling disconnected to heavy legs like a weightless balloon being pulled along behind them. His shirt was discoloured from the stain of sweat and the endless ash that drifted through the air. Robb kept pace alongside him, still treading gingerly with his injured leg, but his steps were less thoughtful and more automated. 

The dust and ash had been especially thick in the air that day. It was as though grey fingers had wrapped themselves around Jon’s throat, stifling every breath, making it harder each time he inhaled. His fatigued muscles screamed for him to give in, lay down in the barren waste that once was a forest, and let the small flakes of ash settle on his body, which would inevitably become dust in turn. 

Robb stopped, his body racked with rough, heaving coughs, his palms settled on shaking knees as his body sagged forward. Jon put an arm around him, and Robb leaned into Jon’s side. 

“It’s getting colder these days. Since we left the fort.” Robb sighed as Jon pushed his hair from his eyes. 

“We also have been sleeping outside a lot these last two weeks.” Jon said, his voice muffled by the cloth tied roughly around his nose and mouth. “We should find a spot to rest in soon.”

“Yes I think we should huddle together for warmth.” Robb said, his mouth obscured by fabric but his eyes smiling. Jon grinned back and pushed on his shoulder gently. 

“Idiot.”

Since they had been taken to the fort they had lost even the vague sense of direction that they had once had; the highway was long gone. They had discussed going southeast to the coast, seemed like that was the intention of a lot of people, at least when it had all started. There were benefits to moving down south, perhaps with more people they would find some sort of vague infrastructure. However, more people might mean less food, or greater danger.

Jon’s stomach growled impatiently. He gulped down some of the last of the fresh water he had left, in a vain attempt to calm his empty belly. Robb had the rest.  
They decided to take a break in a moss-covered overhang. Hardly sufficient shelter should it rain, but it created a nice windbreak that was enough to satisfy Jon. 

They had not encountered anything flammable for days now. Robb shivered against Jon’s chest as Jon unpacked their clothing and they layered up. 

“What a fucking joke.” Jon sighed. “All these trees, all so burnt to shit that we can’t use them for fuel.”

“Water, water everywhere…” Robb replied. “We might as well try and see how we do trying to burn them though. Not like we have a lot to lose.” 

Jon’s pale fingers shook as he attempted to set light to a small pile of burnt out twigs and branches, but the best he could manage was a thin trail of grey smoke from a branch or two. He wiped his blackened hands on his shirt and kicked the stack of charcoal in frustration, then shuffled back against the mossy wall of the over hang, burying his head under his hands and against his knees. 

Shame crept through Jon’s body as salty tears suddenly burst fourth and his body shook uncontrollably with sobs. He heard Robb moving beside him for a moment in silence, his presence close enough that Jon could feel it. Robb said nothing, and moved back towards the attempted campfire.

Jon didn’t think he had any strength anymore. He let his body roll onto the dusty earth, still sobbing but otherwise unmoving. Ash filled his eyes and lungs, stifling him further, making him want to scream and tear holes in his throat so that the air could rush into his lungs again. He moaned, brittle fingers searching through his pockets for his knife, something to help him breathe again. 

Suddenly he felt his arms pinned down, and he opened his eyes. Robb’s concerned face filled Jon’s sights, obscured by tears. Robb looked handsome as he always did, but something about his face had changed recently. Jon wondered whether it was the lack of food or weariness, or whether it was something else entirely that he could not explain. Certainly their lack of food and water had taken a toll. Robb’s eyes flickered with concern, but lacked the usual spark of life. Jon felt himself being pulled upright by his wrists.

“What the fuck Jon?” Robb said, his voice quivering slightly. “I’m really worried about you right now. Maybe we should keep going. Or maybe I should go try and find some more water –“

“No” choked Jon suddenly. His stomach fluttering with anxiety, Jon stooped over again, hiding his head against his knees once more. “You can’t leave, I would die, Robb.” 

A comforting hand was placed on the back of Jon’s head, fingers toying with the dirty mess his formerly beautiful hair was. “All right, I won’t leave you alone, Jon, I promise.”

Robb sighed and sunk down next to Jon, wrapping a thin arm around him. Jon noticed the way Robb had wasted away more than on himself. He was always more slender, less muscular, but now Robb felt even thinner than he was. 

“We’re going to need to find food really soon.” Jon mumbled, his brain feeling incapable of doing anything other than stating the obvious. 

“I know.” Robb sighed, lighting up a cigarette, presumably to calm his nerves and stave off the hunger. “We need water too, that’s more important. We have to be careful though, can’t really afford to drink bad water and get sick right now.”

“Fuck, Robb. We’re fucked aren’t we?” Jon said, feeling misery wash over himself again. He wished that Robb hadn’t taken his knife. 

Robb huddled closer to Jon, and rested his chin on the top of Jon’s head, exhaling slowly. “I dunno Jon, but at least we’re together. I don’t know if we could’ve made it this long without each other.”

“Probably not.” Jon murmured as he buried his head against Robb’s chest. 

“I’ve noticed the dogs have been gone a while.” Robb noted. “I just hope they’re alright, you know? They haven’t eaten in a while too.”

Jon started sobbing again. He knew in his heart that they would never come back, and a part of him felt as though he had failed them. “Let’s not talk about them.” Jon sighed. Robb’s hand on his back was soothing. 

The wind suddenly picked up a wild gust, and Jon felt a chill shiver through his whole body. Robb said something that was obscured by the howl of the wind. Jon angled his head upwards, nuzzling his tear-stained face against Robb’s throat. The flesh was warm and full of life, despite the dull presence of nothingness around them. Jon did not open his eyes, but somehow his lips met Robb’s in a tender kiss. His leather jacket creaked as Robb’s arms snaked around his waist, and soon he found himself lying with his back in the dust, Robb’s bony weight feeling unusually light on him. He felt himself growing hard as Robb’s tongue teased against his own between slightly pouted lips. His hands searched awkwardly for a way under Robb’s jacket, to feel his warmth. All he wanted was Robb to be as close to him as possible.

Robb rolled away from him, undoing his belt with his back against the mossy wall. “Come here.” Robb said softly, as he pulled his cock out of his pants and started slowly pumping it with one hand. Jon shuffled over, ducking down quickly to take Robb, semi-hard in his mouth. 

“Oh fuck…” Robb murmured, his hand teasing through Jon’s dirty raven hair again. “Come here Jon I need you…”

Jon pulled away and crawled up to kiss Robb again. Robb gently pushed his shoulder, guiding him to roll over. Jon pushed his back hard up against Robb’s chest. He could feel that it was bony and thin despite the many layers of clothing, but the heat of Robb’s breath on his neck and the hands undoing his jeans were enough to make Jon force the thought of their imminent starvation out of his mind. Robb’s hand curled around his cock and nipped at his earlobe. Jon scrabbled in the dust towards his backpack as Robb pulled his jeans and underwear down to his knees. Jon handed Robb the small bottle of lube they had managed to preserve, and Jon winced slightly as a cold fingertip pushed inside him. 

“Sorry, too fast?” Robb asked, as Jon settled back against his chest. 

“A little.” Jon panted, turning his head back to kiss Robb again. 

Robb kissed him softly again, slowly pumping his finger until he felt Jon relax against him more. Jon gasped as he felt another finger push inside.

“I want you so badly already.” Robb murmured in his ear. Jon moaned and pushed against Robb’s hand, pushing his fingers deeper. 

“Me too.” He panted softly.

Jon grit his teeth but felt numb when Robb pushed inside him. He sighed a little with relief. The cold air seemed to disappear and all Jon could feel was the warmth of Robb’s hands clutching his bony hips. He felt waves of fatigue edge between the lust that crept through his body. Jon knew that Robb could sense his somewhat fragile state, as he was gentler than he usually was. Jon felt comforted by the heavy sighs and moans in his ear as Robb gently pushed in as deep as he could, rocking his hips with an agonising slowness. He wriggled uncomfortably with his jeans pushed down to his knees, wishing it were warm enough to be completely naked against Robb’s skin. 

“You’re so warm.” Robb mumbled into Jon’s hair. His hand slid down Jon’s arm and their fingers entwined. 

As Robb increased the pace of this thrusting he guided Jon’s hand to his own cock. “I like watching you stroke yourself.” Robb said, blushing slightly. Jon laughed a little to himself at Robb’s embarrassment. Robb moaned softly in his ear as he started to slowly guide his hand up and down the shaft of his cock.   
“Yeah like that…” Robb whispered, timing his own thrusts to each stroke.

Robb gripped Jon’s hips tighter, and he grew more urgent in his pace. “Oh god I’m going to come already…”

Jon rolled his head back to kiss Robb hard and frantic, as he felt Robb’s cock throbbing inside him. A moan escaped from Robb’s lips, deep into the kiss. Robb bucked his hips a couple of times, his body radiating heat. 

“I’m sorry.” He laughed, face flushed again. “Here, I want to make you come too.”

Jon felt a pang of emptiness as Robb pulled out of him. Robb gently guided Jon to roll over. He licked his lips and kissed Jon’s hand. Jon shuddered with delight as he felt the softest wet lap of a tongue across the head of his cock. 

“Oh god, yes, Robb…” He sighed, clutching at Robb’s auburn hair. He closed his eyes and let his body relax again, stifling his moans with his sleeve. 

 

Afterwards they lay together, moulded together like clay figures. Robb snored with his heavy head on Jon’s shoulder. Jon wriggled the tips of his fingers to coax his blood to flow back to them again. 

He thought that his empty stomach would be the thing that kept him from sleeping, but now he did not even feel hungry anymore, just listless. Jon’s limbs ached more than his stomach, and now the heat from Robb’s body had cooled down somewhat, Jon could feel the chill of the night air paining his joints. 

Despite the howling of the wind, Jon could hear the low murmur of voices. Close. His heart leapt into his throat and he desperately searched through his pockets for his knife, trying not to make a sound. Robb lifted his head sleepily and eyed Jon for a moment. Jon supposed that Robb’s senses were dulled by hunger too, but even more so than his own because Robb shrugged at Jon and rolled over to go back to sleep. Jon’s stomach churned with anxiety again. He dragged his backpack towards himself, pulling out his torch. Using it was not the wisest idea in keeping a low profile, but he could use it as a weapon if necessary. His sweaty palms gripped the plastic head of the torch nervously as Jon quickly rose to his feet, slipping boots on while he crouched with his body low. He nudged Robb again, and Robb merely made an annoyed groan and swatted a hand in Jon’s general direction.

Cursing Robb under his breath, Jon crept around the mossy overhand where they had made camp and crouched in the darkness, listening for any signs of life in the night. Pebbles and small, burnt-out branches rolled underfoot. 

Jon heard a murmur again, louder this time, from behind him. He felt as though he could vomit if it were not for his empty stomach. Shaking, he gripped the rough plastic harder and tiptoed his way towards the sound of voices.

Jon stuck to a path that was well obscured by still-standing trees and great fallen logs. He felt stupid wandering alone, knowing that if he had to run or got turned around it might be near impossible to find Robb again until the sun rose. There were potentially much bigger problems that lay before him though. 

The air was still thick with dust, and Jon donned his bandana again, as he tried to suppress the desire to cough as ash accumulated in his lungs. Tears welled in his eyes as he fought hard to cough, and lost. He whimpered, and covered his face with his hands, awaiting the inevitable gun muzzle pressed against his temple or steel pressed against his throat. This would definitely be an easier way out than starving to death, which seemed almost inevitable for them at this rate. 

“I’m sorry, Robb.” He said aloud, knowing Robb would never actually hear him. While all he wanted was a quick death, he knew if it ended now, Robb would still be out there, alone, wondering where he was. Robb would have to live in this world alone. Robb would waste away, wishing his brother were beside him. Jon started to sob. 

The wind sighed. 

Nothing happened.

Jon rose to his feet, shaking. He could not hear the voices anymore. Perhaps his coughing was not as loud as he thought. Maybe there was no one there to begin with. He felt something brush against the tips of his fingers, like the fur of an animal. He glanced down, but there was nothing there.

He heaved into a coughing fit, pushing down his bandanna, his palms flat in front of him in the dust as he spat phlegm and ash. Never had Jon felt his head weighing so heavily on his shoulders. 

Somehow Jon managed to navigate back towards Robb, even though dust clouds obscured the moon and Jon had no real way of following his path back. His senses had been dulled to the point where Jon felt like a walking corpse, and yet his instincts still brought him back to Robb. To his relief Jon could see Robb’s sleeping form lying against the mossy overhang, his body curled in the exact same position, as was when Jon had left. 

“Come here.” Robb whispered sleepily as Jon sat down beside him, lazily draping an arm over Jon’s waist. Jon lay beside him again, his hand slipping up the front of Robb’s t-shirt, feeling his heart pounding softly under his ribs. Adrenaline still shook Jon’s system, but the feeling of Robb’s heavy breathing beside him calmed his nerves.

Jon looked up at the night sky as Robb nuzzled into his jacket. It was the usually dull blackened grey, looking somewhat like the charcoal that surrounded them in the earth. A lone star glowed through the blackness, and Jon smiled. He could not remember the last time that he had seen a star, and now was probably the last.


End file.
